Exhausted.

  The hubbie and I haven't gotten each other a Christmas gift since 2005. I don't know if its a way to save money or just be practical. Maybe because when there is something that we really need or want we go out and get it. Well anyway...this year is different.  We are in a new country and we will be having a small, simple Christmas. We thought it would be fun....and since we have everything we NEED we decided that they would be "luxurious" gifts. Just one, but a nice one.  Well I was going to add a little something extra just because I want to keep my wife of the year trophy....didnt you hear!?! I have been nominated for Best Wife and Mother of 2010!! Its awesome! And its a lie.....let me tell you WHY I SHOULD deserve such an award........(let the rant begin)

  It starts off on a bad note....my hubs famous Grandma Vi passed away this past Friday after a long fight with Alzheimer's.  Kyle wanted to go home for the services and take the little guy.  I said, "Of coarse" and honestly after the baby was when we flew over to the UK I was happy to dodge THAT bullet.  So I agreed to stay home with her.  Well, a couple of days before his flight said little boy started to have a cough. I was NOT going to let him fly to another country with a cold. No WAY! So I made the decision, yes...I will take one for the team and watch both kids....dont worry about us. Just go. Damn, I should have thought a bit more about THAT one.....

  I guess I should also state another fact that only my pose knows......this chick is pregnant....AGAIN! I cant believe that just came from my fingertips....let the reality hit. Ok.....also I have been nauseous almost every day and cant eat a lot of foods and cant look at a lot of foods.  So making my yummy home cooked meals has been damn near impossible. So there is another back drop to my week....

 And now I am getting tired, so hear it is in a nut shell......
*First night- Baby girl stayed awake, Big brother coughed all night
*First full day- Baby girl screamed all day long, Big Brother snotted all over my sofa
*Second night- Baby Girl had a high temperature, more screaming, Big Brother more coughing and climbed in bed with me! (Dont get the Preggo SICK!)
*Second day-Same stuff as above but add a popcorn kernel lodged up Big Brothers nose
*Third night-not bad...more sleep then before except the time I had to get up to watch Big Brother take a poo, guess he was lonely.
*Third day- (my favorite) sick baby girl....but add a full on choke that resulted in the Heimlich and a mom covered in barf....even in my freshly washed hair.
*Third night-even more sleep (starting to become a human again)
*Fourth day-During afternoon nap, baby decides to start screaming for no reason that I know of and wakes me and brother from our naps...which turns into brother throwing a tantrum so bad you would think some one was ripping off his limbs and beating him with them. Which then brought the devil out in yours truly and I am extremely surprised the police werent called.
Fourth night- kids almost perfect...but the hub calls....his flight has been CANCELED!!!!

So....back to my Christmas gift....you know...the luxurious one!?! I would LOVE to see what he comes up with....He could win Husband of the year to go with my Wife of the year!?!?!? OR this week could go unnoticed (like I would let THAT happen) and I could be like every other wife and mother that busts her ass and doesnt get any credit....well until your kids grow up and have kids...then they realize!

By the way....Thank you mom!! Love you! And for me.....its time for a nap!:)

No Biggie....

This is not life changing information...not like I EVER have life changing information...but, here in England when you go to the movie theater.  You walk in just like the states and buy your ticket. Then you smell the warm yumminess of the concession stand.  You walk over and if you are like me I MUST get a fatty buttery popcorn and a cherry pop. (and yes I said Pop, I'm from the mid west) You ask the sweet little teenie bopper behind the counter and she replies, "sweet or salt!?" To which I reply, "Beg your pardon...what are you referring too?" "The popcorn" Yup folks....no butter.  You can have your popcorn with either sugar on top or salt.  I chose salt, which was lovely, but NOT the same.  And as for my soda, pop, whatever.  They only have the basics....no Cherry Pepsi, no Mountain Dew....just Coke, Diet Coke, Fanta and 7 Up....which I went with the 7 Up..I mean come on, who still drinks that in the states!?!? Let me tell you, it deserves a come back! Yum! So there you go...more useless knowledge that I thought I would share! "discuss, discuss"

Well.....

Things are changing.....obviously I moved to another country. Everything is new and different....normally I would say that makes everything BETTER. And actually I DO mean that.  I am just in the mood to complain about the things that bug me...I have the right to do that. Lets not forget I AM an AMERCIAN!!! I feel like singing that song, "I'm proud to be an american...where at least I know I'm free..."
Anyhoo.....
Life here is very similar to the states, just a tad bit harder, more annoying if you will.  I've told you about the washer and "tumble" dryer....did you know that my dishwasher will also need special attention when the time comes.  I have to pour salt in it!?!? WHAT! Its a brand spank'n new modern machine. YUP! Oh...and I forgot to mention that my washer grows mold....I found that out the other day.  About once a month I have to pour this Tilex stuff into the washer and scrub it out. YUCK. So the machine I use to CLEAN things is growing mold and probably putting that mold somewhere on my childrens clothes. THEN lets talk construction.  Over here in England they had a real estate boom like we did. So new pretty homes went up, not as crazy as in the states...but you get my point.  My home is not even 2 years old.  It is beautiful, nice details, stone work, very fashionabley put together.  It has CRACKS! Big ones...it has "puckers" as they call it.  It looks like my ceiling has a slight case of acne.  The boards under my bed need to be renailed down. I may fall thru the floor one day.  The grout around all the tubs has lifted, I can see into the next room (ok, thats a lie, but are you feling me yet!?)...WHAT THE F ! In the states if you are paying what we are paying you would have all of that fixed before you would let someone even look at the place...I guess this stuff isnt important to them.  Let me tell you there are more things...ummm. Like the delivery man.  If you have something delivered to your house by the mail...you HAVE to sign for it.  If you dont or your neighbor wont!?! Kiss it goodbye.  They wont leave it by the door.  They HAVE to hand it to someone...I have no idea where it goes. Probably an office where you would have to pick it up, but seriously!?!? I miss a UPS man where they throw it on your porch as they are turning around walking back to that big brown truck!
Ok...I am feeling better. Basically its annoying. BUT then you have to respect a country where they dont sweat the small stuff.  If your dryer goes out...it doesnt bother them to not have it for 3 weeks. They think outside the box and get it done.  Not sit on the floor in front of it throwing a tantrum because I am over it....(maybe that is where Tilly is getting her tude!) So...moral of the story.  As Americans we are very lucky for a lot of things....even the silly, minuet, speckles of life. So go and thank your Maytag man....your 24 hour Wal-Mart.....and your "pimple free" ceilings!

A tribute to a Fabulous mimi!

As Gavin gets ready to turn 4 years old on the 22nd.  I look at what we have accomplished with him. And for everyone that knows us...the big deal is potty training.  Since we have crossed the big ocean we have had not one...even tiny and insignificant accident. And to celebrate I will tell you a story....a story of a little boy, his love for a shed, and the Fabulousness of Mimi!

The setting.  My parents farm in late August.  The little guy LOVES to go out and check on the machinery like its a pet.  Everyday he begged one of us to take him out there.  This day it was Mimi....

I had told her earlier that afternoon that someone hadn't used the bathroom in a while.  And when its time for a #2...watch out.  So before they head outside she makes him sit on the beloved potty for a while.  He sits, he pees....life is good. (I'm sure you are thinking, I know where shes going with this....ummmm. No you dont!) Mimi as always decides to multitask as she takes him out on his adventure.  Odd things like bringing old corn cobs out to throw in the field...stuff like that.  They head for the field and Gav starts dancing. Mimi, "Gav, do you have to go to the potty!?"  Gav, "Umm. No I just went.  But what if I have to poop!?" Mimi, "Well if that happens I guess you could poop outside!?" Gav, "I dont have to go..."  they proceed to the big shed to check out those tractors. Gav, "Mimi!?! What do I do if I have to poop?!" Mimi, "Gavin if you have to poop then lets go to the house....otherwise you are going to have to poop in this bucket!" (The bucket that had the corn cobs)
Gav, "No.  I cant poop in the bucket! I dont have to poop!" 
Wait for it.....wait for it.....Mimi said it was about 30seconds when...."MIMIIIIIIIII.......I HAVE TO POOP IN THAT BUCKET!!!!!!" So Mimi helped her grandson poop in a tiny little bucket in the middle of a huge shed.  Poor kid was so embarrassed he wouldn't even talk about it.  His only worry, "is papa going to be mad I pooped in his shed?!" Honestly I would have expected my little neat freak to be worried about the lack of toilet paper.  But then I realized, Mimi used a ratted up Kleenex to wipe.  Even as a child she would always have like 5 in her purse or pocket!  I guess those nasty things have saved the day more then once! 

So not much else needs to be said but....CHEERS to Mimi! Cause I guarantee I would have just let him crap his pants!

Give me a break.....

It has come to my attention recently that I am not keeping up with blogging demands. Here is the deal.  I had no idea that people (besides a select few) actually read this crap.  I had no idea that I had been missed.  Well this is what I have to say 1. I am truly sorry 2. Give me a freak'n break! I moved to another country for Christs sake and I'm trying to get adjusted to the chaos that has been thrown my way.  Geezey Petes!

And now....cross your fingers....back to the Blog!:)

The damn laundry...

Something that every desperate housewife hates is laundry.  I can say that because I think I am one of the few that liked doing.....notice the LIKED......in the states we have our fabulous energy star washer and dryers.  They come in all shapes and sizes....you can get one to match you favorite pair of red shoes or your Kitchen Aid mixer.  They have so many setting to choose from you feel like your at a candy store. They can do it all but bake a cake! Who wouldn't have fun...right!?!

Ok.  Now... I know that I have only had experience with one washer and dryer here in the great UK.  But my home here is only 2 years old and all of the appliances are nice and new, so I figure these sub par versions on the American classic are probably their standard.

Now here is my problem....and your British lesson for the day!  They are SMALL.  I'm talking when you throw in a load of whites (for me its my smallest and lightest load) your done.  The contraption is FULL. End of that story....what else can you do.  THEN if you do not pay attention, you will place the setting on "normal wash" or "eco 40" whatever that hell that means. I am not joking once you hit start with said Eco 40 it will take 2 hours and 30mins to WASH! Seriously, the hubbie ran out to another town to run 3 errands and when he walked in the door it had finally starting rinsing! I have learned to use the "mini" setting.  Does this mean that my clothes are not getting as clean!? Who knows! probably! And honestly I dont give a rats ass.  If we spent 150mins a load and we had 4 loads (which is normal).... well you do the math.  I'm too tired from doing laundry!

So basically my day consists of doing a load of laundry everyday so that I never have to pile up and be stuck on a saturday with 8 hours of wash going.  Oh....but wait! I haven't finished.  The DRYER. DmmmDmmmmDmmmmmm.....These dryer are water condensing.  Which means.  It is not hooked up to a pipe line.  Which means...when the dryer is taking out the water from the clothes it doesnt have a pipe to take it to a drain like in the states.  There is a thing called "the condenser" that is in the bottom of the dryer.  This Condenser is a tank with a cap that sits under the drum behind a nice little door.  During the drying the tank gets full. THEN the dryer sings you a song that means go and empty this shit! So you cant just throw stuff in the dryer and go.  Because in between every load it has to be emptied and it wont start up again until you do so. 

Are you starting to under the complexity it takes to live in the UK. Seriously....I wont even go into the phone service.....next time.  Because right now I have to spend my favorite nap time catching up on more LAUNDRY!

I'm BACK......

   and in England!  As I sit to write I check out my surroundings. Alconbury Air Force Base in the temporary housing quarters.  Do you remember those children books about Eloise, I think she lived at the Plaza or something.  Well this chick is living in the equivalent of a Best Western UK style. Its so "fabulous" that when  I tried to upload photos for you to see what I mean the wireless was annoyingly spotty.  The cable has 10 channels..all but 2 are AirForceNetwork which can NOT hold a signal.  The others are British  and not too bad.  At the moment I am snuggled up watching...wait for it...."Law and Order/ UK" Ha!  Its is NOT the same as our American classic, but MAYBE I could get used to it! maybe not.... So now I am going to jot down nonsense that needs to be shared...it has absolutely no point in life just fun "useless knowledge"
Here we go.....did you know?!?!

~Toilet flushers are buttons on the top of the toilet (shall we say the Lou), not a handle on the left side.
~All appliances have a power switch on the wall.  To turn on the oven I have to turn on the wall switch and then turn the oven to the correct temperature.  Same with the dishwasher, toaster, coffee pot.
~Hell... Law and Order/UK :) Strange in itself and missing Mariska!
~The fact that everyone sounds like they are a genius from Oxford....the voice on the man making my Subway sandwich made me believe he could be the next prime minister. "would you like cheese miss?"

~They have playgrounds in the pubs! I mean WHAT!?! Maybe we will never leave!
~If you go to good ole McDonald's (we have a 3year old. Give me a break!) order a Happy Meal and ask for a juice box..Apple!? Fruit Punch!? No...Blackberry Currant. Excuse me? We are Americans, we don't drink no currants...:)
~Another toilet one.  In the words of Gavin, "Man...that hole is WAY BIG!" No clogging that sucker

  As I finish my first week in the United Kingdom...not too bad.  When its not raining (which is rare) it is one of the most beautiful places to be....and when I get out of my fabulous 5 star accommodations I will do my best to post some pictures.  Until then...Cheers!

A new day...

  Its time.....time to announce that after a year of complaints, tears, lost voices and empty bottles of carpet cleaner.....Gavin Louis....my stud muffin of a little nugget is POTTY TRAINED.  Its an ending of an era...a book has closed.  We now have a little boy on our hands.  I can no longer say that I have two in diapers (and thank God for that!)

  Since Gavin is my first, I now sit and wonder what the next "challenge" of parenthood will be.  Will I be ready or will I have to go back to the bottle!?!  All in good time I guess.....

  So now I will be thankful that during this stressful time in my life (the move across the pond)  it will be full of m &m giving, sticker charts, and cute little Buzz Light Year tighty whiteys that make me SMILE.  Life is good!
  

Eat your veggies!

As a stay at home mom...or better yet, a domestic goddess (and yes I DO put that down when I fill out paper work) your life isn't so glamorous.  So when it does come time for fun glamorous things...like weddings, hubbies work events, or hell even a backyard bbq......I have to go all out!  Its like I am making up for the other 6 days of the week where I have no makeup on and I am still wearing my sundress from 3 days prior.

So with this big move I have learned that "summer" in the great UK is "fallish".   It tops off at a high 70 degrees and thats the hottest point.  So NOW I am trying to get all of us new fall clothes and nix the summer stuff...which means I am NOT ALLOWED (hub said that...can you believe I am actually listening) to get a new summer dress for an upcoming wedding this weekend.  The test of a REAL domestic goddess.....WHAT TO WEAR!

So I spent my morning going thru my closet.  Trying things on, mix and matching shoes, scarves, jewelry.  Exhausting. Of coarse I can't do any of this without my little stylist Gav.  He plays the perfect role of "the honest friend" He doesnt know fashion, but he notices when you have back fat.  So I narrow down to my #1 choice, it will do..... and then in the back of my closet.... I saw it...the dress I wore when the hub and I got engaged 6 years ago.  Its black, halter, flattering, and also a size 8.  I KNEW it wasnt going to fit, but I thought lets see if I can magically make a 12 turn into a single digit!

"Oh....Mommy.  You are growing big and strong!  You are too BIG for that dress! You are eating your vegetables and drinking your milk!"

At least my son is proud that his mom could be a line backer....And for the glamorous housewife.....there is always my LASHES!

Quickie

Gav comes to find me in the office..... quite direct (and loud) he states "HEY...you need to make MY LUNCH!.....NOW!"  I say, "Hey... wanna say that again so I can spank you!?" Gav reply's, "Umm...no thank you." as he quickly turns and walks away.

1 point for mommy against the terrible 3's!

Slacker.....

Lately I have been SOOO busy.  I have had more then enough to blog about, but I can't grace you with my stories until I start at the beginning. 

In the month of August this housewife is changing scenery.  I am packing up our belongings and our lives, and the little nuggets and I are following the hub to ENGLAND.  Now I'm pretty sure that everyone reading this is like, "Duh jami...you told us this already"  But I was hoping maybe, just maybe that someone other then my mother and best friends read this blog! Ha! But who am I kidding!

We will be in the UK for at least 3 years, 5 years max.  Basically this is an awesome thing for the hubbie and his career.  But its also a perfect way for us to feel free....ever since this first little Schmidty showed up (SURPRISE) I never felt like we had "closure" to our youth.   We were forced to grow up as much as we could at the time. And YES I do still think of myself as a 17 year old with a family.  Anyhoo, having this last adventure before truly settling down, popping out a few more kids, dealing with PTA,  field trips and living in picture perfect suburbia....this is greatly needed.  This is going to be a fabulous ending to another chapter in my life.  The chapter where I figure out where my life is actually headed.  I know I'm being a bit more "deep" then usual but this is exactly what the hub and I need to do.  Explore the world.....be spontaneous.....find more passion in life. My 20's will be over soon and I want them to go out with a bang....and they will!  And I hope you will follow me as I make my mark on the world! Ha!  Here we go!

A little poop never hurt anybody.....

  Here is our status....
There are no more diapers for 3 year olds. There are no more baby sized diapers for 3 year olds. There are MANY pull ups for 3 year olds, and when those run out....big boy pants here we come.  He has agreed to make the "big switch" once we are out of our security blankets...aka Toy Story Pull ups.

Another thing that is kinda hilarious to me, is that Mr. Gav has been training himself. And doing quite well actually.  As you may know, I gave up, threw in the towel, waved the white flag.  Basically my plan of attack is being supportive, acting like I don't care either way if he shits himself or not....BUT I have made the rule. "you do it, you clean it up!" So this way when he goes in the potty and sees how easy the "clean up" is hopefully he will get frustrated with the extra steps when he has the dreaded accident.

So, here is the yet another story.  Fathers day.  Its hot as hell outside. Trying to have quality family time we decided to go to Wal mart and buy inflatables....pools, slip-n-slides, and pool toys...maybe a beer or two. So as we all sit in the various inflatables of fun, looking rather trailer trash I might add, Gav starts acting funny.  Now realize he is wearing his swim trunks with nothing underneath.  I say, "do you have to go potty"  "NOOOOO!!!" followed by the funniest potty dance I have seen in a while. "do you have to poop!?" "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Of coarse his father on Fathers day wanted nothing to do with the situation.  I mean seriously, I spoil you all day and you cant help with THIS.  Should we recap on MY mothers day! Anyhoo, I'm getting off track.  So I take Gav and help him pull off his pants and tell him he can pee in the grass.  He says in an urgent manner, "Nooooo!!!  Poop is COMING!!!" So with his wet swim trunks at his ankles I grab him the most awkward way to keep the poop from falling out and run his little white behind into the house.  Then the norm, we sit, poops a little (sorry TMI) wash hands, flush and back out the door.
  Ahh...back in the pool, my beer is in my hand, soft breeze, not too bad for being in a foot of water in a kiddie pool.  "what is THAT!!!"  Our relaxed daddy found his karma.......I guess Gav didn't hold it as well as we thought. The kid had made a little "follow the yellow brick road" shit path! And guess who had to clean it up!  Not me!  Happy Fathers Day! (I told him it would be easier to just get the dogs pooper scooper!)

Really!?!

When I was a kid, and even now, I hear adults talking about missing, "that sweet baby smell".  The idea of that phrase makes sense to me.  The reality of that phrase is SOO untrue.  My baby Tilly smells of lavender and soap for 3 hours every OTHER day because she has had a bath.  For some reason the other 45hours in between cleanings she smells of a dirty washcloth....the weirdest part.... I always use a paper towel!?!? So whoever came up with this beloved phrase either 1.wanted kids and could never have any and is imagining that it is complete heaven (someone should fill them in) or 2. is a grandparent who gets to see their grandchildren on bath day! Lucky them.

I guess I shouldn't speak for EVERYONE, even though I like too. Maybe I'm just raising that "smelly girl in class" Sorry Til, but girl you STINK!

Cheers to me!

Today I got up early and went to the grocery store.  It was quiet, peaceful even.  There is something about going to the store and filling your cart with yummy, nutritious items. Sadly it always gives me a ginormous bill at the end....but it helps make my family happy and healthy! Ahhh....aren't I a sweet little thing!

SO...I get home and I unload the goodies that I had purchased.  I take the Gav man upstairs to get changed for the day, but lets be honest, it was more like putting him into a new pair of pj's.  We have no place to go!  Why the hell not!?!

 As he is sitting on his little potty squeezing a single drop of pee and begging to be done....I realized I didn't pick up any pull ups. CRAP! So I took this as a moment.  A moment to prove that I have NOT given up, I just took a break!  I WILL get this kid potty trained...I started to feel a wave of excitement, motivation if you will!  THIS WILL HAPPEN!  I have heard from many mothers that when faced with the "Oh NO!?!  We are out of diapers!  I guess we will just have to use the big kid pants!"  Most kids rise to the challenge.  So I say the same exact thing......what happened!?

My 3 and a half year old son is wearing his sisters 6month old pretty purple diaper!  I am so proud! I decided I will toast to the ridiculousness by spiking my coffee! CHEERS!

Yummy Time!

So my babysitter told me of this FABULOUS recipe!  Its just one healthy ingredient and it makes ICE CREAM!  Its so easy I'm not even going to write anything.....just follow the pictures that the hubbie thought I was ridiculous for taking! And then ENJOY!!!

So when your little munchkins need a little bribing!  Say..."Do you want some ice cream!?" And BAM!

Serving of fruit and you are SUPER MOM!

Can't forget about this one....

Yes....I know it has been forever and a day since I have blogged. A lot...and I mean a LOT has been happening in my life.  I WILL fill you in, but first I have to tell you a little story.  I could have skipped out on this story, but it does add a nice touch to the chapter I am calling "the devil wears pull ups!"

Lets begin.....
My little man, who is now officially 3 years, 7 months and 1 day old today.  Is now having "quiet time" in his room.   Now with potty training you might say that could be risky.  Leaving a child alone in his or her room for 3 hours.  What do you do!?  Well, I will tell you.  I have a little mini potty sitting in the room.  Next to that said potty I have reading materials, small toys, and even a coloring book with markers.  Its the throne of thrones.  Now how many kids have their own private bathroom...IN their room.  My little guy does.  And lets just say it WORKS!  Everyday THIS magic time is the ONLY time I can get him to sit on the potty and actually go.  Now for the longest time it was only a pee potty.....but recently it became a POO potty.  The hubbie and I were so excited. We took pictures, danced like rock stars, and rewarded with Gavin's favorite dinner.  But then....

First off, have I ever mentioned I had a rebellious streak.  Anyhooo.....the hubbie and I went full force with the potty training.  Only underwear or none at all.  We were on  a mission.  A mission to make things happen, turn a boy into a man...well, maybe turn a baby into a boy. And things were going great!

And then it happened.  We call this accident the "incident". Because there is NO WAY this was an accident.

 After days of having great success I went upstairs to get Gavin up from "quiet time".  I was feeling sluggish because we had been super busy around here and I had no help from the hubbie.  Either he was out of town or finals....whatever.  Baby's daddy was no where in sight!  I open the door and go straight for the potty sitting in the corner.  Ready to give praise to my angel of a son. But to my surprise the potty....it was empty.  Not one drop of pee,  no piddle, no #1. You could have seen your reflection the bowl was sparkling white.  As I am admiring my new hair color I realize.  Hmmm.....why are my feet sticking to the floor? Oh...poor guy he must have an a little accident on the floor.  He made a puddle. Wait for it.....wait for it...............it was no little puddle. The little shit ( I can say that cause he is MY son)  decided he didn't want to use the potty anymore.  And to show me how serious he was, he decided to piss all over the floor.  And when I mean all over....he got every square inch.  In the corners and under the bed (his bed is on wheels) And when I screamed (and I did) he didn't care.  He shrugged it off and went downstairs to get his snack!  Are you kidding me! Are you kidding! I threatened, I punished....not one tear. He stood strong and proud of what he had done. He was taking a stand like Cameron in the film "Ferris Beuller's Day off" and then I realized, I was defeated.

Where are we now at 3 years, 7 months, and 1 day today!?  He is in "quiet time" with the potty and a diaper taped tight. He has given up for now....and frankly so have I.  I have decided that I am going to let his sister train him.  She will figure it out by the age of 2 (she's that type of girl) and he will be 5. I'm done, I am passing the torch and I am officially surrendering. I wish you well Gavin as I wave my white flag. Hope they let you into school because you will NOT be living in my basement!

Coffee (an old post but deserving of a come back!)

When.....did this black muck that used to remind me of liquid tar become my favorite tasty treat!
When I brought to life a little boy named Gavin....THAT is the precise moment! I could never touch the stuff before....I always feared it would destroy my beautiful set of pearly whites that my parents spent so much $$ on! Damage my all natural body, (even though shots of tequilla were acceptable) Or the fear that I would one day be one of "those people" who couldn't start their day without it!
The day has come! I Am An ADDICT! This tasty treat is very understanding to your needs, its almost as if it loves you back......is it hot outside!? put it on ice! had a bad morning!?! slip some baileys in it....the kids will never notice! It is the perfect reason to get friends together......and its the best way to keep a girl regular! What more could I ask for!
So YES......I am officially announcing that I, Jami Nicole am an organic, fair trade, vanilla cafe latte with skim milk ADDICT! And damn proud of it!! I am now raising my mug of yummy goodness and toasting to what helps me wake up to the Fabulous woman that I need to be! Cheers!

To be a fly on my wall...

At this exact moment BOTH of my little adorable children are crying.  Not "I'm hurt", not "I'm hungry", not "Oops, I crapped my pants".  They are BOTH crying because they want to cry. Gav woke up in a HORRIBLE mood from a last minute nap on the couch (which is NEVER good, even though it IS cute!) This crying has been going on for 30mins...no joke.  But then Tilly must have gotten jealous that her brother was taking up too much air space and had to be heard.  I am just in such shock about the ridiculousness of the situation that I decided to blog.  I am sitting on the love seat while Gavin is on the sofa and Tilly is in her bouncy seat.  We are snug as bugs in the living room, watching some Dora, and they are STILL CRYING.  I sit here and ignore...I mean try to ignore.....Oh MY GOSH!!!!! I am about to lose my mind.  And I am sure some of you are asking, "where is that fabulous hubbie of yours!?" Well he decided that he would be a sweetie and run to the store for me.....yeah no!  He made out like a bandit.  I just texted him saying, "run for the hills...save your freedom while you still can..."

I am taking one for the team, that is for sure. By the way...still crying!!! Has anyone ever put their children to bed at 5:30!?!  Cause did I mention that they are STILL crying.... and now the dog is barking....PERFECT!  The hub is going to come home to find his wife in the bathroom closet with a bottle of wine......I got to make sure I don't forget my corkscrew.....gotta run!

Blech......

I am having a great day with my little nuggets.  They are being cute in every way possible.  Funny faces, funny jokes, and funny laughs!

Big brother STILL doesnt really care for little sis.  He is very protective of her in front of others....but behind closed doors...well you can say we know how he really feels.  She is like a new stuffed animal....it's there, but doesnt mean you have to cuddle with it!:)

Well here it goes....my afternoon.  Little girl needs a new outfit.  The one she had on looked as if she jumped into a lake it was so full of slober dober.  Plus, little miss is a very ticklish little one.  Even removing the onsie makes her laugh.  Mom (aka ME) decides to keep her laughing.  Starts to think..."Hey maybe big brother wants to help make sissy laugh too!?" Big brother comes over and now we are a family (who actually seem to like eachother) playing and laughing together!  Huge step for us!  The feeling makes this mom's heart skip a beat.......

Giggle, Choke, choke....BLECH!!!  Baby gets so excited she projectile BARFS in mommys face. (reminder: baby is now eating green beans and sweet potatoes) I look over at brother...who looks at me.  3 year old starts to gag. As he leaves the room in fear I realize that the special moment left with him.

This is my life....and surprisingly I think back to this afternoon and smile.  I just made a memory with my munchkins I dont think I could ever forget.  And knowing what I now know about life..... I wouldn't want it any other way.  I know a little boy who is 10 years old, who at this moment is fighting for his life.  I can't help to think about his loving mother and how she is probably playing over and over in her mind  these crazy chaotic moments that we moms tend to have.

So right now...... BARF IS GOOD!

TIP: How to feel FABULOUS!!!

 Alright...I totally believe in inner confidence, a strong self esteem, and the "who gives a shit!" approach to life.  But I also believe that anyone can have an off day.  So what do you do!?  My example:  a stay at home mom.  Still not happy with her weight, feeling out of the "party it up" scene and the fact that going out clothes are very much lacking in her closet.

  So what does she do to make herself FABULOUS.  To be as confident as she once was pre children...or hell.... pre period. This is hypothetical...certianly not me last month on my trip to Chicago. :)

 Well a lot of people turn to shoes.  Yes, shoes are a wonderful thing.  But have you ever thought about WHY shoes are so popular!? If you have ever been chubby you'll already know the answer.....it is because no matter WHAT dress size you wear you can ALWAYS fit into a hot pair of shoes.  You can hide yourself in a three quarter length plain black shirt, jeans, and hot shoes. Boooom! Your feeling sassy and ready for a night out on the town! But what if you now have the mentality that, "oh...the kids have grown out of their clothes. And with me staying at home and not contributing.....I better not buy those"!?! Booo.....and totally SUCKS! Yes, I said SUCKS!

  I have your answer....FAKE EYELASHES!!!! $7 at MAC and the best mood lifter since prescription drugs! They are easy to apply, cheap, and an instant sassifier (I like to make up words!)  Your eyes look like you haven't been up all night changing pee pee sheets, but in a satin eye mask with your lover in a fluffy california king sized bed! YES!!!   Life is good again!  Now go...GO! Head to your local makeup guru and have them hook you up!  Date night has NEVER been better!

Recap.....

Can I fill you in with a couple of paragraphs....shall we see!?!

Potty training....the hubbie gave up on the big boy undies about 15minutes after I started giving him the silent treatment.  When he realized he was all alone in our house of chaos....he caved.  Smart man.  I knew there was a reason that we have stayed together so long! But anyhoo.  I am officially a horrible "potty trainer"  I have always felt that I could be good at anything that I wanted.  With hard work and dedication we can all find our talents.  Big fat NO on this.....I am now willing to pay a service to do this horid, smelly, and annoying thing for me! Any recommendations!?

I also went on a mini vacation with the hubbie, a great friend from D.C. and the "gang"  they know who they are.  We went for a long weekend in Chicago.  Spa time, shopping, dinners, drinks, and we even squeezed in a Bulls game ( I was super excited about that one)  What could go wrong!?  Oh...maybe realizing that I can't seem to stay awake past 10:30pm, or sleep in after 7:30am, or that I now think that hot and sexy 5inch heals are impractical, or was it the designer jeans that I couldnt pay attention too, because I couldn't keep my eyes off the flubbery, my baby is 4 months old, muffin top! But my favorite was sitting at the trendy little bar, with my favorite little trendy drink, in my trendy outfit, with my freshly facialed face and gorgeous fake eyelashes when I realized that my hubbie and I were the only ones in a huge group that were a "hubbie and I" and THEN realized I was the only one with a hubbie, AND a kid...oh wait TWO kids....and a dog, mortgage, and probably the only one contemplating "do we send the kids to public or private preschool!"
I am now a different person.  Actually I am the same person.  I'm just hiding behind my responsiblity. (now I'm sitting here pondering the meaning of life.....)

Anyhoo.....quote from the day.
"What in the HELL is THAT!?!" 
Any guesses....oh yeah, the little boy nugget!  Which means I am out for Mother of the Year! Damn it!:)

Since the hubbie never reads this anyway.....

I am so ANNOYED!  Have I not been mentioning that I am trying to potty train little man!?  I have been worrying about this since he turned 3 and has showed no signs of interest.  (so almost 6 months now!) I have gotten him to pee in the potty, but I have NOT gotten him to go poo. Sorry, there is no other way to say that.....#2 always seemed really weird to me... Anyhoo.
The hubbie is home today.  Its one of the first days in a while that he has been home with only a bit of homework to do.  So how does he decide to spend it.  Well since he "got up with Tilly at 3:30 I haven't been able to go back to sleep" (which means give her a pacifier, not like she needed a diaper change and fed, but whatever.)  He did homework, made coffee, made the babys bottle, made breakfast, made phone calls, and then decided that the kids need to get out, "I think I'm going to take them for a walk" When I said this an hour earlier, "hey, since it looks like rain, lets skip the park and just take the kids for a walk!"  But now I guess its his idea and his deal! AHHHHHHHHH!
But just about 15 mins ago he low balled me.....he decided that TODAY he was going to potty train Gavin. Cause didn't you know, it only takes a day!  Not even asking my opinion, not even asking what I've been doing with him.  The guy that doesn't even make him pee before getting in the tub decided to force my son into undies.  Gavin comes downstairs upset......you could tell he's not into it. Well...he can clean up the undies, and HE can take him potty every 15 mins.  If he thinks he can do it. By ALL means.....DO IT!

I told you blogging is for venting....and slipping liquor in your coffee is for the denial that the venting worked! Ha!  happy Tuesday everyone! Let you know by the end of the day when Gavin is officially potty trained!

I did a bad thing....

(P.S. This is NOT a recent picutre!)

  So I have been working with the Gav man....well on everything.  Potty training is the big one...and attitude adjustment is the other.  FRUSTRATING is all I can say.  The potty training is going, but slow and steady...but that means we will win the race!? Right!? Yeah if the race ends in 5th grade!  Anyhoo.....

  I still have to change his morning diaper and lately he has started to resist it.  I think its the terrible 3 thing OR I just have a bratty child.  Not sure yet....but I'll let you know.  And actually as I am contemplating this I think it could all have started around baby sisters appearance. Hmmm....I'll have to do some detective work!

  Basically the thing is this...I understand that he is testing his boundaries, I understand that I put UP a lot of boundaries, what I dont understand is why he has to WHINE  everytime he hits the brick wall (aka mommy)

  So the bad thing......I am negotiating with the 3 year old on WHY he needs to get his cute little behind up the stairs so I can change his rank smelling morning diaper.  He doesn't WANT too.  I say "Fine, then you lose your TV privledges for the morning" and he replies in the most annoying whining voice "I DO WANT to come upstairs and change my diaper!"  Well Hell...then come up and change your damn diaper...is what I was thinking.  But instead of keeping my mouth shut I added "Quit acting like a whiney little girl who cries all the time!" He replies.." I'm NOT a GIRL I'm a BOY!" then continues to cry......

 Morale of the story...I am EVIL.  First off I am so "I am woman here me ROAR!" its shocking that those words even came OUT of my mouth....but second.  I can't believe I just made fun of my kid....to his FACE!  I'm like a bully...but a bully of little kids!  Thats even worse.  I just get so damn frustrated.  When you know that you have a smart and independent little stud of a son like I do!:) Then it makes it worse when they are NOT behaving to their potential.  Ahhh....so I guess I have to cool down and apologize.  THIS is what makes parenting hard.  You have to have patience, respect for your little nuggets, and plenty of booze on hand! Its tough! And now realizing I have a sweet little baby who will have to go thru the same lovely stages as her brother.....God help us all!

These dang POUNDS!!!

After I had Gavin in 2006 I never really felt FABULOUS! I had a little run in with post partum....and I decided to stay home rather then going back to work.....and in my (lets be honest) BOREDOM I found a love for cooking and baking. I gained 32 lbs with Gavin...lost 25lbs in the first 2 months...then gained it all back by the time he was 1. Let me tell you, I am so proud! Ha! It took until he was 2 and a half to lose just that depression weight! I got preggo with Tilly with an extra 10lbs on then before.  Luckily I only gained 25lbs with her. But  this baby weight...no way in HELL am I letting it hang around! I am not going to let myself go there again. I have more confidence and lets face it, a better hormonal balance this time around!

 I can now honestly say I have COMPLETLY lost ALL of the baby weight.  30 lbs as of today!  And now working on the rest.  My goal is 20-25lbs more!  If I can accomplish this, then I will be smaller then I was at my wedding! I just want to feel like Jami...and her two kids.  Not whoa! Jami looks like she has HAD two kids!  And you're probably thinking why is she posting this.  I guess its to make myself accountable.  If I put this goal out in the big wide world of the internet that means that someone will know and be watching.  Lets see how this goes!  Wish me LUCK! And you KNOW that I will keep you posted!

Friday Lunchtime Fun!

So I looked up my name on UrbanDictionary.  This is what it said!

One-of-a-kind, different, brown eyed girl. Knows too many people for her own good but hangs out with only a specific few. She is funny, very smart, loud yet quiet in a lot of situations, and beautiful. :) Playing her many instruments or even listening to music calms her till she comes back to reality. Also she comes off as a strong brunette but she is the worst type of nervous. Oh! One last thing; if you like her, its better to just say it because even if she doesn't like you she won't turn you down like a bytch

baby girl.....

Baby girls......what I have learned about baby girls....or maybe just MY little precious nugget is that they are sweet, flirty and full of smiles.  What I have also learned is that when they flirt the most...its usually to hide something bad.  (Hell, that sounds like me now at age 28!) Anyhoo....my daughter poops....not just "oops I pooped my pants" but......"Oops I shit myself!"  And its always in the cutest outfits, while shes doing the cutest things.....then BAM!!!  Crap....funky color, funky consistancy, and FUNK all out of her diaper and up her back!  Lets just say...one girl is enough for me! (And now I just jinxed myself to have 5 more!)

High on Life!

    I have had a day.  Not a hard day, but just a, wish I could leave this house kind of day!  The hubbie has been busy working and going to graduate school.  Which is actually not THAT big of a deal, except when test, papers and finals roll around.  So today is one of those days that the hubbie is SUPPOSED to be off from work.  He decided to go in all day and study (cause getting things done around here can sometimes be impossible) which again would be fine....but add class on tonight and it makes a long day for me. Okay, the back story is complete!

   Since I have had little miss Tilly I got on a new birth control....you would think having two little nuggets would be enough birth control in itself! Ha! I need to do everything I can to make SURE another nugget is NOT joining the Schmidts anytime soon!

  With this pill comes a hormonal imbalance...the week before aunt Flo's arrival I get migraines.  They last 2 LONG days.  Now... I'm talking about REAL migraines...I'm not one of those people who sigh and say, "Oh....I think I have a migraine" No...mine are close the door, turn off the lights, no one talks on the block, don't put that food infront of me or I'll throw up, kind of migraine. Soooo.....I popped a pill.  A mild migraine medicine that they gave me while I was pregger.  Did nothing.....soooooooo...I then proceed to take a SERIOUS med that cures all!  Never thinking, "hey...should you be mixing pills and watching children!?!"

  I had the best TRIP ever! Totally relaxed, slow motion, loss of appetite, and calm.  Damn...if only I had a nanny.  This could be the life!

  Then Gavin came in....he looked at me with those big brown eyes.  "Mommy can I snuggle with you!?"  "Of coarse...you sweet boy!"

He sits next to me and I realize....wow his hair looks really good today!  Did you put product in it!?  And the high mom thought "of coarse that makes sense....all 3 year old know how to style their hair!" Right!?!

  NOPE....when I had come to.  I realized that it was not his Redken pomade that was seperating his piecy ends so nicely....it was EAR WAX!!!  His hair has gotten so long I guess it made its way to his ears and got stuck on an over abundence of ear wax! Bleh bleh bleh!  Off for an unexpected bath!

Note to self.....Wine and prescription meds taken while watching children will only lead to neglected children full of Ear Wax and other gross bodily functions.  Plus a possible call from DCFS! Ha! 

Buzzed....

So as I have said before.  One of my goals for 2010 was to keep up with my blogging.  But with this goal has come doubt....Will I have enough stories?, or Are they good enough to share?, or Does anyone truly give a shit? And to all of these questions my answer is....probably not!
So I have decided that I am going to drink wine and see what I come up with.  Get my creative juices flowing.  What I have come up with is....I am buzzed and STILL have writers block! Well HELL....I guess that didn't work.
Tomorrow during nap time....I mean "glimpse of heaven" time..... I will try again! Wish me luck! Goodnight, sweet dreams, and pray that I wake up without a hangover!:)

Don't Hate Me!

I'm horrible...I'm horrible! Its been almost 2 months since I sat down and vented about me, life, family...the DOG! But I have turned into a big fat slacker. Actually no, thats not true. I am NOW the parent of 2 children, the dog is still alive, the hubbie is still around, but in school getting his masters, and I spend all extra minutes trying to lose weight!

Its getting back on track and I WILL have PLENTY of stories to fill you in on....here is a thought to wet your appetite!

Gavin....the dog cage.....cage door shuts...cage door opens....Gavin has finished pooping! My son is a bit confused to where the bathroom is! I'm thinking he'll be 5 years old before we get this down!

Again...my apologies to those of you who like to laugh at my life! I promise I will be back! Its my goal for 2010...that and fitting into a size 8! Love to you all!