Am I back!?!?!

It has been since February.....I will not apologize because this mama is TIRED! I have been doing the mom thing, preggo thing, making friends thing, making the hubbie happy thing AND just trying to be plain Fabulous! Ha!
I WILL be more regular about posting soon.....which I can fill you in on why later......but for now....a sample....

The third little Schmidty nugget is located directly on my poor innocent bladder. I have to go the the toilet (see I sound British) a GAGILLION times a day. Literally on a extra special day, I can go thru a whole roll of good old TP by myself, I mean seriously. So picture a Saturday morning, kids still have the sleepys in their eyes, the hubs is making one of his famous breakfasts, and then there is me......"Holy poo....mommy has to to go pee! I'll be right back" as I am sprinting up the some of the MANY stairs in this ridiculous house.......whew, I made it...which doesn't always happen. I wash up and head back to the fam.....Gavin looks up at me, "Mommy....you lied, you didn't go pee."
"Uh, okay Gav, I beg to differ...why do you say that?"
"BECAUSE....you don't have a PENIS!"
"Well kid you got me there" Which THEN starts the early morning conversation about the land of vaginas. The worst part is that I feel like the hubs was taking more notes then Gavin......

Love is in the air......

 I had told little man that Valentines day was coming up.  I tried to explain the fun things I had planned for him and his adorable little sis. We are making cards for daddy, special crafts and a "special romantic" dinner for the family.  I told him Valentines is basically a holiday that someone made up to make a lot of money...BUT its a good reminder to tell the people you love how you feel about them.  To that you could see his mind churning...but then..... I think he got it. Which he will soon prove.

About an hour or two later the studly 4 year old was playing in our toy kitchen set.  Daddy was making dinner and over heard a "phone conversation". By the way....the TOY phone..... The little Casanova was talking to a GIRL!!! Not nana...not mimi.....his GIRL FRIEND. The hub asks...."Who you talking too? " "Oh....my girl friend" "Well whats her name?" (A side note he doesn't know ANY names from school except Toby.....who is the boy we hate because he punched my baby in the face!) So little man replies, "Girl that wears the blue shirt and the big bow in her hair" WHAT!?!?! If you know my son that description means she actually exists.  When the hub told me this I smiled and then started to get the sweats....you KNOW I will be stalking some little girls on the playground today! I need to see my sons first crush! 4...I cant believe it.  Well anyhoo, the hub looked at the clock and realized that the stud had "talked" to girl in blue shirt with bow for 10mins! That's a record! It must be serious! HA!

So bottom line.....love exists, even where we don't expect it too...Happy Valentines Day!

The things we go thru....

Its 9:00 at night......on a Saturday..... and I am in bed....watching reruns of Sex and the City......alone.  Want to know why?!? Because I have the worst case of pregnancy gas humanly possible. I mean I cant even describe the horror that is reeking from my body.  The hubbie sent me to my room because he couldnt take the smell anymore.....Hell...I can't take the smell anymore. Lucky for him he gets to get away from it.  Me!?! Nope....I get to sit here and suffer. 
Does anyone warn you about this when you want to "bring a miracle into the world"...Nope.  And I believe now there is a reason....I also believe that when my sweet baby girl grows up and finds herself wanting children (hopefully already married to a successful plastic surgeon....I can dream cant I!?!?!)  I will remember this moment...and all the other grotesque, revolting and embarrassing things that come with this miracle....and well....I probably wont say anything because I will be so bitter that I had to go threw it......AND I want my grand babies.....Damn, I'm just like the rest of them.

Life of a Hermit.....

I know its been forever since my last blog freak out! A lot of nothing has been going on.  We haven't been traveling, we haven't gone anywhere exciting for dinner,  hell....Gavin hasn't even been going to school.  We have been a bunch of sickies and NOW we are finally coming back to the land of the living.  I haven't even seen my American neighbor who lives 3 doors down.  We have turned into hermits....our most excitement that we have had was going grocery shopping and heading down to the local cafe for a latte. Woo Hoo. Hold me back, I am getting to exciting....

So my life has been not what I had expected so far living in the romantic country side of England, but its going to get there.  I will make it happen. But right now I am too busy planning on what night will be family game night and which is movie night. Its rough, but I have to get organized! Ahhh! Are you listening to me! I need an intervention...someone PLEASE help me be a cool chick again! Until that happens....this is all I got!
 Gavin stories.......

Over in England (especially where we live) food choices are lacking.  I do a LOT of cooking here because your options are...English food...BLECH, well I DO love a Fish and chips....Indian, Italian (which is only open 5 nights a week), or Chinese.  So a lot of times we go to China.  In the states there is a dish called sweet and sour chicken. I NEVER let myself get this dish because I was afraid of the yummy and completely fattening concoction of shitty pieces of chicken fried in tons of yummy batter dipped in horribly sweet red jello-ish sauce. Delish! 
Well over here they have the same thing but first they call them chicken BALLS. Reason...it is actually a big ball of chicken breast with a light coating of batter, still fried to perfection and then the sauce is still that lovely shade of red....but this time you dont taste sugar, but vinegar.  I actually looked up the nutrition and this English version, of the American version of something they probably dont even EAT in China.  And it has less sugar then in the states, like 10 grams....and thats just the sauce.  So I'm not saying its healthy, but its healthier....which means this is my excuse now to eat the stuff! Ha!  So now my family gets chicken BALLS on a monthly basis and it makes me happy.....now after all my blah blah blah....the quote for the day.

Gavin, "Mommy, when I get done with my balls, that means I can get a treat!?" Now in my mind I am thinking dirtier then a mother probably should, I give him a smirk, say nothing and just look at the hubbie. Then Gavin quickly informs me....."MOMMY, not my DIRTY balls....I meant my CHICKEN balls"

Great.....and I am still speechless......lets hope that 2011 will give me more to write about then my 4 year olds balls......until the next time!