Giving a Shout Out!

August 27, 2005 was the day that I married my BFF. 4 years of marriage, a kid and a half, a horrible real estate market, a big move, and destructive dog later.....we still got it! As of this moment....what would I say is the key to a happy marriage!? DATE NIGHT.....quiet time, a little booze, interesting conversation....and maybe a locked bedroom door at the end! (well.....not really maybe!) Here is to another year! Can't wait to see what unfolds!

Break'n out....

The hubbie just started a new work schedule that will allow him to be home weekends AND 2 days off during the week! All I can say is "SWEEEEET"! I am taking this as a blessing, especially with baby number 2 quickly approaching. Sleepless nights and green poop here we come!

To celebrate our family's new routine I am trying to make these days off as "perfect days" for us. Like today...the weather couldn't be more beautiful. So we are going to get out there and enjoy it! Since my last entry I have been really thinking about what DOES make me happy.....and as I have said before.....little things. So today...the hubbie is picking us up our favorite coffees from down the street, then off to Good Will to donate some unused goodies, then to the recycling station (Go Green!) book store to get something new, then some playtime at the park, and then my favorite.... pool time.....end the day with a nap and a relaxing evening at home. Which of coarse will be filled with cooking dinner on the grill, watering the flowers and playing with John Deere tractors.

Doesn't sound like much. But actually this day could NEVER sound better. I want to be thankful for what I have...not dwell on the negative. Like I have said before...I dont have my shit together. But that doesn't mean that there aren't things in my life that are going pretty freak'n awesome! So....yes....I'm thankful for those small little things that can turn my day around. Time to enjoy it!

Trying to be honest.......

I survived the week without Gavin and I have to say...... Being without my "meaning in life" has opened a window to what I need to deal with. I have many MANY issues that I didn't even realize that I have ever had. I had time to actually think about my life and how it has and IS changing. To be in your familiar "safe zone" with something major missing. It just gets your mind rolling. I came to the fact that I am a stay at home mom...I love it but I live for my family and not myself. I also realized that I keep my house clean because I'm scared of what someone might think more then my supposed love for cleaning. And I have no real friends in this new location I call home (actually I have one...Emmie I know your reading this but you don't really count cause your family)....all of my true girlfriends are far and away. The distance makes the heart grow founder but can also make the relationship itself weaker. AND to top it off....I have found that I miss alcohol way too much. But I do say this with a smile. I mean come on....it's only 3 more months. But its like I can't be or have fun without it. I know in my heart that its not true...but it sure feels true.

I also always thought that the more people you surround yourself with meant that you never had to feel sad and alone. This is not true.

I guess what I am saying is that I am normal... Meaning I don't have my shit together, even though I try to pretend. Does anyone really have it all together!? I would love to talk to someone who thinks they do...I used to be that person. But I'm not sure why...actually I do. Because for whatever reason I have people tell me that all of the time. I've heard it so much that it MUST be true. But sadly it's not. But what determines the standard that makes you think, "man she really has it together!" ?????

Now could this all be caused by the hormones?!?...sure...but I like to think that this is all COMING OUT because of the hormones. You can't try to improve yourself until you have determined the problem. And some of the most ridiculous people in my life never think that anything is THEIR fault, they are ALWAYS right, EVERYOONE ELSE is to blame. I never want to be that person. But is blogging about bits and pieces of my near to depression going to help!? Who knows, but it can only make me a better person....right!?

Okay....I'm being THAT mom.....

I am a lady who LOVES to travel. And my love of travel is so important to me (and the hubbie) that no matter what, we put the seperation anxiety with the kid aside. We feel that it is EXTREMLY important for each of us and our relationship. I have never once regreted leaving my child with a babysitter or grandparent for an extended amount of time. Because in the end.... I KNOW it will make me a better mother, wife and PERSON. And it does the same for our kids. They know that mom and dad , "love me enough that they WILL come back and get me (eventually)" and it helps them to become more independant and a well rounded person in society. Those are MY beliefs and I know not all mothers feel that way.

I have friends that have NEVER left their children. I understand, but I don't agree. BUT I will say this......it has been 20 hours since I left my little guy back at the grandparents. I am sitting at MY home at MY computer with MY dog and MY son is not here! This is WEIRD!!!!! Normally I have warm sun on a sandy beach, or a glass of wine with a beautiful view, or even swanky hotel room in the heart of a city to keep my mind occupied. But the truth is this....right now my little man should be asking for his second snack, Noggin on in the background and a poopy diaper should be approaching shortly! And its not......

But what I will say is this. I have a feeling that my house will be spotless, ALL the laundry will be done, I will have blogged (check) craft projects will be finished, the errands will be done and I will (amazing) have showered and probably shaved, by the time my hubbie comes home at 5:00 for a home cooked meal! So feel free to check in on me becasue I feel I may lose my mind!

Gavin come home tomorrow!!!!!

I have to VENT.......

I just want all my lady friends to know.......wax your face. I know it can hurt, it can cost a little extra cash, and its sometimes hard to fit into a busy schedule. BUT COME ON!!!!! Its something that needs to be done. Like brushing your teeth or clipping your toe nails. And I don't care how pretty you think you may be. If you have a mustache....no one can see your real beauty because we are sidetracked by the fuzz on your face! The reason some women age beautifully?......they keep up with the maintenance. So call your esthetician before the weekend. You'll thank me!