Its official.....

I am now HUGE! There will be no pictures from me...of me...or around me....I'm hiding out! Hybernating might be the right word! I have 2 and a half days left before the bambino arrives.....I am finishing up loose ends and finishing up the bad food I will no longer have a reason (or maybe an excuse) to eat!
Today I ate waffles smoothered in peanut butter and syrup.....but atleast they were organic, right!? McDonalds #10 with a diet Coke and sweet and sour sauce for lunch. Snacks were Girl Scout Thin Mint and Samoa cookies. And I will finish off the evening with my healthy turkey chili...but it WILL be covered in shredded cheddar cheese! I would like to think that starting tomorrow morning I will be eating a nutritious and well balanced diet. Lets cross our fingers......
Oh wait...there is left over green bean casserole made by my fabulous cousin (you know who you are) fried onions and cheese on top of creamy green beans....YES PLEASE! And you know what else!?!? Homemade chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream icing in the back of the fridge! Honestly its the best cake that I have EVER made! That can definitly NOT go to waste.....okay today might have to go out with a bang! And a few extra TUMS...but I think it will be worth it! CHEERS to the baby for giving me a reason NOT to feel guilty!

1 week left......

I tell you what. Do I like being pregnant!? Sometimes.

Its awesome in the summer because you don't have any body issues....it's like" yeah, I'm fat so what! Pass the chips and guac..."! But I am now entering my last week of this pregnancy...all I can say is Oh My.....there is a reason that my first came early....God knew there could be a chance of me never having another...

I will say that I feel bad saying this. I'm having a very successful pregnancy....I started sleeping well, my skin cleared up, I've only gained 29lbs.....BUT the turkey is cooked....I'm DONE!! I cant explain it unless you've been there but I tell you....I WANT MY BODY BACK!!

I have this "alien" (even though she'll be my pretty princess once shes out) inside that is moving organs like you would move a heavy piece of furniture! Kicking my bladder (I now pee 6 times a night from 11:00 to 7:30am) she shoves herself in my tummy causing heartburn that feels its from the depths of hell. And my personal favorite....face fat. This little one has made me lose my appetite. So WHY....really WHY does my face keep getting bigger?! Gross!

So anyhoo.....I'm being very nice about all of this in case once day she comes across her crazy mothers old blog....which will probably have the same value as a cassette player...but oh well! To my last week! My it end quickly so I can start complaining about sleepless nights, sore monster boobies and green poop!

So.....if you have never been to my house you may have hundreds...even thousands of questions that are going thru your mind as you look at these pictures. Nope these aren't some cute little baby boutique find or cuddly puppy pictures! THIS is Michelle...and she has been a member of our family since 2006.

Here we go...my hubbie has always had a strong desire for finding his "cheers" you know...where everyone knows you name... Well....no matter where we have lived he has looked and found his "hot spot". When we lived in the Northern Virginia area he and his co workers (well one imparticular) found a quaint little pub with great food and beverages.....also known as HOOTERS. Most wives...I would not be so sure if they were as cool as I was about it. Actually no....I wasnt cool about it. BUT when I got pregnant with Gavin their crab legs and wings made it all ok for this little preggo mama! That was it....with my approval the tradition was made. Almost every weekend we would make it to the local HOOTERS. I got so into it that I would call all the other wives and set it up myself! Am I the BEST or what!

So some how or other Michelle was given to Kyle as a birthday gift. She sat proudly on our computer desk in our HOME office! The best memory was my mother coming out for a visit, probably to see her new baby grandson. Went to check her emails, placed her hand on the mouse and said, "Oh...well thats....interesting!?!" But she couldn't deny that Michelle had some lovely and very comfortable attributes....really your wrist always felt so warm and cozy!

The other day I noticed it.....Michelles perfect implant had burst. And even though I knew it was way past her time to leave (when your 2 year old starts cupping them, I knew we might have just given our son a boob fetish) it made me sad.....it was another chapter of our lives ending. We hadn't been to a HOOTERS since the move, and with kids running around...rude and crude mouse pad people were NOT the kind of parents we wanted to be. So this is my farewell....my tribute to Michelle. Thank you for reminding us that we once had some fun in our lives...and dont worry. We will be back!

The Nesting has began....

As we all know I am in LOVE with lists....big lists, small lists, lists on a post-it, planner, or even a used envelope! LOVE THEM! So when I was reading up in my What to Expect When Your Expecting...I learned that lists are an intricate part of Nesting before the baby arrives!

"Awesome" I say to myself! Well maybe not soo awesome.....

I went a little off the wall... my list consisted of things like putting new batteries in the baby's hand me down toys (which she wont use for 6 months) making sure she had stylish winter boots (even though she wont walk for another year) finishing every aspect of her room, vacuuming out my car (I would hate for her to think her mom is a slob!)and finishing up cleaning the house from top to bottom (my lazy ass hired someone! ha!:) sterilizing bottle nipples and pacifiers, packing a diaper bag, my hospital bag, my boobie pump, getting and wrapping a present for big brother from little sis, and my favorite....buying new bright and colorful granny panties for after the surgery! How long did it take me to do this stuff you ask!? Well let me remind you this was not the full list, only a small portion. But I would have to say 3 days total! I was on a mission and my Sharpie marker in a shade of purple was locked and loaded!

So now that the nesting seems done...I'm now working on pampering MYSELF.....pedicures and massages here I come! So anyhoo... 19 days and counting.....do you think I'll be prepared!?! Ha!

Oops.....

So I KNEW that it had been awhile since my last entry...but when I realized it had been a month! "Oops!" Is all I can say. First it started with some writers block, followed by some hormonal pity party stuff, then busy with a 3rd birthday bash, and finished off by all of my boys being sick! Bleh! So bare with me PLEASE! This week I am going to catch you up!

Dirty but I HAD too...

If the man in your life is ANYTHING like mine....then you understand the childish and perverted behavior that may or may not come out of their mouths at any given time. Now that has been said.....

This morning, as like most mornings my hubbie and son were wrestling, giving high fives, and telling knock knock jokes. I know that I could have been elsewhere doing something more important but I decided to stay. It IS pretty funny. This morning was no exception.

The hub and kid were playing...."Give me five...up high...down low...cut the pickle...tickle tickle"...Does this sound familiar. Now what is usually NOT said in that game is my husband saying under his breath, "mommy likes daddys BIG pickle....." I then roll my eyes, and before anything else can be said. A little scratchy voice blurts out, "mommy likes my LITTLE pickle....oh yeah she LOVES pickles!" from the almost 3 year old! Oh My Lord.....

Thank God....I truly have a love for dill kosher pickle...and I am still praying THATS what he was referring too! If not, then hubbie and I have a lot more to talk about!

Happy Monday!

before I forget.....

Happy 1st Birthday Moe!


Moe's Birthday cupcake!

First off let me say.....those of you who REALLY know me will understand why it took me 2 months to blog about the celebration of my puppys 1 year anniversary as a Schmidt. Those of you who don't. Spend a day with me at my house with the dog and you will quickly see the love/hate relationship I have with him.

Now don't think I'm some evil person, even though I truly have my days. I'm just not an ANIMAL person. I think its in my blood, passed down thru generations. For as large as my extended family is...not many of us even HAVE pets! Nor does anyone feel like their life is incomplete without one. So that means your probably wondering why I even got a pet in the first place (trust me, so do I!) Well I guess I have to say my answer is this. I want to stop the cycle. Man that sounds like were some alcoholic, obusive, wackadoo family. Well, cut out the obusive part and the statement could be a bit more accurate!

Anyhoo, I'm getting honest....I had a tremendous FEAR of dogs as a child. Let me put it to you this way. When I was in kindergarten I got my first dog. I named her Kelsey. She was a cute and innocent little black and white mut of a puppy. She was an outside dog...never allowed in the house. Now imagine this......it was before my parents had an attached garage. I begged, pleaded and cried for my parents to carry me whenever I was outside. Literally everytime I was outside I either needed to be held or they had to lock up the dog in the garage. Jami and Kelsey were like oil and vinegar! We never mixed. To help you understand the seriousness of being held. Once I was in my dads arms (and remember I was almost 6) I would climb his body like a spider monkey so that so she couldn't even reach my shoes.....thats how scared I was...well..and how short my dad was. But whatever, you work with what you got! ha!

I used to ride home from school on the bus. It was my moms duty every afternoon to hold the dog while I walked from the bus to the house. That way I wouldn't look like a fool to all of my friends....God knows I couldn't show my face once the word was out that I was a crazy who was dealthy afraid of her little puppy! Well.....mom was vaccuming, bus came early, and then it happened. I got off the bus to be surprised by my little excited and "ferocious" (don't forget that part) puppy kelsey. She started to jump all over me with love and joy because her little friend (aka me) was home from school. My angle.....the ferocious beast of a dog started to attack me as I stepped off of the bus. So I took my little strawberry shortcake backpack and beat the dog as hard and as many times as I could. Screaming with all my might trying desperatly to save my life that was quickly flashing before my eyes....then to my rescue was my mother. But I'm pretty sure at the time I yelled at her for slacking on her doggie patrol duties and probably did a good job of making her feel like dirt....yeah....that sounds more like me! So to make the story short....well first off.... I LIVED! Praise Jesus! But then the next day the busdriver pulled me aside and asked what had happened. He felt terrible that some strange dog was attacking me, he almost turned the bus around to help, until he saw my mother....but then I HAD to fess up and say, "no sir, that was my dog" HOW PATHETIC!!! I hope your atleast getting a good laugh out of this!

Okay....so back to stopping the cycle. My son LOVES his dog...hopefully baby girl will too. Me on the other hand will always think he stinks, licks too much and barks too often. And truthfully this is all so that I don't have to get too close! :) No...I'm not scared of him....but I just can't explain it! But for now I will still continue to spoil him with material things like holistic food, specialty toys, trips to the doggie spa and birthday parties. And this is just me trying to overcompensate for not being a loving enough mother! I only have so much I can give.......

So to another year of Moe! Just be thankful you aren't Kelsey!

bring on the CAKE (and eye cream)

Today I am officially older......not old....but UNDENIABLY older. I woke up this morning, TIRED....not because I was up all night from some crazy wild early twenty shananigans....but from cramps, heartburn and gas from my second pregnancy. It made me sad, almost depressed. I was even CONSIDERING taking my birthday money from my parents to go buy a new breast pump! What was happening to me! A Medella over a hot new pair of brown leather boots!?! It's because I'm OOLLLDDDD!!!!!

All my single and fabulous friends have been calling to inquire, "what are you doing tonight!? How are you celebrating!?" Well let me tell you..... coffee with fat FILLED creamer, hanging new curtins in the nursery, making chilli for the week, getting fun FaceBook birthday messages, opening a gift certificate for spa treatments from the hubbie (that you better BELIEVE will be used on an anti-aging facial!) and CAKE lots of CAKE!!!!

And this morning my reaction to this would have been the same as my single in the city friends, "Oh......ummm thats nice...." but now that my day is almost to an end.....honestly, I'm realizing that I feel pretty damn lucky. Actually excited! I might even throw in an Arbonne detox bath and perfect the day! I'm thrilled to make it to the....ummm.... big 28!

So what if this birthday isn't one for the books.... it was a great day. Different the the typical party girl celebration....but atleast it was spent with the people that I care the most about and the pajamas that I love! So screw what I thought the day "should" be and toast to what it was! To yet another year.....may it be filled with happiness, health, eye cream and CAKE!!

tractors and robes don't mix

I never would have imagined that a part of my life would revolve around a good ole John Deere! For the past few months I have been busy planning a blowout John Deere Bash for the Gav-man's 3rd birthday! Cookies, cakes, pinatas, and my favorite John Deere beer! Lets just say...you should pray that you get an invitation! Ha! (or maybe not!)
Too add to the explosion of JD tracors in my life....my son is also placing his tractors, gators and books strategically around the house. "they're farming" he says....."dont move them". Well how could I disrupt his creativity. I've been move relaxed then usual about the toy pickup....he is just too damn cute to crack the whip on this. Until now...
Tuesday morning, imagine this.......a pregnant lady in a fluffy white robe...underneath commando, a bare newly pedicured foot, and a child begging that I put on his favorite (get ready for the surprise) John Deere movie (yes, they have those...thank you aunt Debbie)
As I say "Sure...no problem!" As I reach for the remote my left foot hits the little green tractor that resembles a roller skate......which then turns INTO a roller skate!
Preggo goes down..... HARD....and the robe flaps open which then means.... NAKED. Twice in a month I have offically scared my child! Not too shabby! Needless to say, the tractors no longer "farm" in the living room! Andmommy hasn't put the robe back on in fear that I might get into more trouble!:)

My day so far.....

From the outside the life of a housewife always seems Fabulous....maybe even magical. Spending the day with sweet and innocent children as we go to play dates at the park, library story times, and restful naptimes. Well it DOESN'T work that way.....actually no...sometimes it does....but I would say 1 day a month MAYBE goes like that! Today is not that day!

First off....I dont get any sleep with this pregnacy...not sure why!? But I'm dealing with it! Add on a 2:00am wakeup call to a tearful little boy who was scared of his room! Honestly it broke my heart.....he hugged us and BEGGED for us to not make him sleep in his room! But for fear of starting a bad trend my hubbie and I walked him back in and got him settled. An hour later he fell asleep.

The good part...or so I thought.... was that the little man was sleeping in. I thought what a perfect time for a little mommy/daddy shut the door time....sorry mom if your reading this!:) So now let your imagination go......and imagine that we forget to actually SHUT the door....and then lets imagine that there in the hallway was a wide eyed and speechless little boy.....he barely could sputter the words, "daddy, WHAT are you DOING!?" I could have DIED! My first thought we have permantly damaged our child! He will never recover! Then the hubbie came up with a tickle monster excuse, which luckily did the trick, and the fact that I was now laughing hysterically made it all more true!:) But it DOES remind me of sneaking around the parents....but I think its more sad when your sneaking around your children! Anyhoo!

After some much needed coffee...I dealt with the normal breakfast for kid and pet...made lunch for the hubbie, cleaned, computer time, and list making for the day! (but I do love that part!) Then my perfect little dog...yeah right...decided that HE was a little boy. When he doesnt get what he wants...his new thing! He throws a TANTRUM...can you believe it!?! He sits right in front of you and BARKS his head off. He's been a real keeper today, scratching the kid, attacking pillows, and getting into the smelliest stuff! This preggo lady is ready to barf at any minute! And lose her mind.........

So what do I do....put the kid down for his nap, put the dog down for his nap (I'm very serious about that one) had some lunch and now catching up on my much needed blog and FB time! It rejuvenates me! My stradegy for getting thru the afternoon! I'm baking cookies....I can bribe the kid to stay good if he knows he'll get cookie dough at the end of the day! I tell him I'll make cookies after your nap, which then turns to after you clean up your room, which turns into if you play quietly in your room, which then turns into if you eat your dinner! Yes I know I'm a genius....and that I might have a fat kid later in life....but right now this cookie dough is what is going to make the rest of my day that MAGICAL experiance that everyone WITHOUT kids thinks that I'm having! So cheers to a little refined sugar! ha!