Quickie

Gav comes to find me in the office..... quite direct (and loud) he states "HEY...you need to make MY LUNCH!.....NOW!"  I say, "Hey... wanna say that again so I can spank you!?" Gav reply's, "Umm...no thank you." as he quickly turns and walks away.

1 point for mommy against the terrible 3's!

Slacker.....

Lately I have been SOOO busy.  I have had more then enough to blog about, but I can't grace you with my stories until I start at the beginning. 

In the month of August this housewife is changing scenery.  I am packing up our belongings and our lives, and the little nuggets and I are following the hub to ENGLAND.  Now I'm pretty sure that everyone reading this is like, "Duh jami...you told us this already"  But I was hoping maybe, just maybe that someone other then my mother and best friends read this blog! Ha! But who am I kidding!

We will be in the UK for at least 3 years, 5 years max.  Basically this is an awesome thing for the hubbie and his career.  But its also a perfect way for us to feel free....ever since this first little Schmidty showed up (SURPRISE) I never felt like we had "closure" to our youth.   We were forced to grow up as much as we could at the time. And YES I do still think of myself as a 17 year old with a family.  Anyhoo, having this last adventure before truly settling down, popping out a few more kids, dealing with PTA,  field trips and living in picture perfect suburbia....this is greatly needed.  This is going to be a fabulous ending to another chapter in my life.  The chapter where I figure out where my life is actually headed.  I know I'm being a bit more "deep" then usual but this is exactly what the hub and I need to do.  Explore the world.....be spontaneous.....find more passion in life. My 20's will be over soon and I want them to go out with a bang....and they will!  And I hope you will follow me as I make my mark on the world! Ha!  Here we go!

A little poop never hurt anybody.....

  Here is our status....
There are no more diapers for 3 year olds. There are no more baby sized diapers for 3 year olds. There are MANY pull ups for 3 year olds, and when those run out....big boy pants here we come.  He has agreed to make the "big switch" once we are out of our security blankets...aka Toy Story Pull ups.

Another thing that is kinda hilarious to me, is that Mr. Gav has been training himself. And doing quite well actually.  As you may know, I gave up, threw in the towel, waved the white flag.  Basically my plan of attack is being supportive, acting like I don't care either way if he shits himself or not....BUT I have made the rule. "you do it, you clean it up!" So this way when he goes in the potty and sees how easy the "clean up" is hopefully he will get frustrated with the extra steps when he has the dreaded accident.

So, here is the yet another story.  Fathers day.  Its hot as hell outside. Trying to have quality family time we decided to go to Wal mart and buy inflatables....pools, slip-n-slides, and pool toys...maybe a beer or two. So as we all sit in the various inflatables of fun, looking rather trailer trash I might add, Gav starts acting funny.  Now realize he is wearing his swim trunks with nothing underneath.  I say, "do you have to go potty"  "NOOOOO!!!" followed by the funniest potty dance I have seen in a while. "do you have to poop!?" "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Of coarse his father on Fathers day wanted nothing to do with the situation.  I mean seriously, I spoil you all day and you cant help with THIS.  Should we recap on MY mothers day! Anyhoo, I'm getting off track.  So I take Gav and help him pull off his pants and tell him he can pee in the grass.  He says in an urgent manner, "Nooooo!!!  Poop is COMING!!!" So with his wet swim trunks at his ankles I grab him the most awkward way to keep the poop from falling out and run his little white behind into the house.  Then the norm, we sit, poops a little (sorry TMI) wash hands, flush and back out the door.
  Ahh...back in the pool, my beer is in my hand, soft breeze, not too bad for being in a foot of water in a kiddie pool.  "what is THAT!!!"  Our relaxed daddy found his karma.......I guess Gav didn't hold it as well as we thought. The kid had made a little "follow the yellow brick road" shit path! And guess who had to clean it up!  Not me!  Happy Fathers Day! (I told him it would be easier to just get the dogs pooper scooper!)

Really!?!

When I was a kid, and even now, I hear adults talking about missing, "that sweet baby smell".  The idea of that phrase makes sense to me.  The reality of that phrase is SOO untrue.  My baby Tilly smells of lavender and soap for 3 hours every OTHER day because she has had a bath.  For some reason the other 45hours in between cleanings she smells of a dirty washcloth....the weirdest part.... I always use a paper towel!?!? So whoever came up with this beloved phrase either 1.wanted kids and could never have any and is imagining that it is complete heaven (someone should fill them in) or 2. is a grandparent who gets to see their grandchildren on bath day! Lucky them.

I guess I shouldn't speak for EVERYONE, even though I like too. Maybe I'm just raising that "smelly girl in class" Sorry Til, but girl you STINK!

Cheers to me!

Today I got up early and went to the grocery store.  It was quiet, peaceful even.  There is something about going to the store and filling your cart with yummy, nutritious items. Sadly it always gives me a ginormous bill at the end....but it helps make my family happy and healthy! Ahhh....aren't I a sweet little thing!

SO...I get home and I unload the goodies that I had purchased.  I take the Gav man upstairs to get changed for the day, but lets be honest, it was more like putting him into a new pair of pj's.  We have no place to go!  Why the hell not!?!

 As he is sitting on his little potty squeezing a single drop of pee and begging to be done....I realized I didn't pick up any pull ups. CRAP! So I took this as a moment.  A moment to prove that I have NOT given up, I just took a break!  I WILL get this kid potty trained...I started to feel a wave of excitement, motivation if you will!  THIS WILL HAPPEN!  I have heard from many mothers that when faced with the "Oh NO!?!  We are out of diapers!  I guess we will just have to use the big kid pants!"  Most kids rise to the challenge.  So I say the same exact thing......what happened!?

My 3 and a half year old son is wearing his sisters 6month old pretty purple diaper!  I am so proud! I decided I will toast to the ridiculousness by spiking my coffee! CHEERS!

Yummy Time!

So my babysitter told me of this FABULOUS recipe!  Its just one healthy ingredient and it makes ICE CREAM!  Its so easy I'm not even going to write anything.....just follow the pictures that the hubbie thought I was ridiculous for taking! And then ENJOY!!!

So when your little munchkins need a little bribing!  Say..."Do you want some ice cream!?" And BAM!

Serving of fruit and you are SUPER MOM!

Can't forget about this one....

Yes....I know it has been forever and a day since I have blogged. A lot...and I mean a LOT has been happening in my life.  I WILL fill you in, but first I have to tell you a little story.  I could have skipped out on this story, but it does add a nice touch to the chapter I am calling "the devil wears pull ups!"

Lets begin.....
My little man, who is now officially 3 years, 7 months and 1 day old today.  Is now having "quiet time" in his room.   Now with potty training you might say that could be risky.  Leaving a child alone in his or her room for 3 hours.  What do you do!?  Well, I will tell you.  I have a little mini potty sitting in the room.  Next to that said potty I have reading materials, small toys, and even a coloring book with markers.  Its the throne of thrones.  Now how many kids have their own private bathroom...IN their room.  My little guy does.  And lets just say it WORKS!  Everyday THIS magic time is the ONLY time I can get him to sit on the potty and actually go.  Now for the longest time it was only a pee potty.....but recently it became a POO potty.  The hubbie and I were so excited. We took pictures, danced like rock stars, and rewarded with Gavin's favorite dinner.  But then....

First off, have I ever mentioned I had a rebellious streak.  Anyhooo.....the hubbie and I went full force with the potty training.  Only underwear or none at all.  We were on  a mission.  A mission to make things happen, turn a boy into a man...well, maybe turn a baby into a boy. And things were going great!

And then it happened.  We call this accident the "incident". Because there is NO WAY this was an accident.

 After days of having great success I went upstairs to get Gavin up from "quiet time".  I was feeling sluggish because we had been super busy around here and I had no help from the hubbie.  Either he was out of town or finals....whatever.  Baby's daddy was no where in sight!  I open the door and go straight for the potty sitting in the corner.  Ready to give praise to my angel of a son. But to my surprise the potty....it was empty.  Not one drop of pee,  no piddle, no #1. You could have seen your reflection the bowl was sparkling white.  As I am admiring my new hair color I realize.  Hmmm.....why are my feet sticking to the floor? Oh...poor guy he must have an a little accident on the floor.  He made a puddle. Wait for it.....wait for it...............it was no little puddle. The little shit ( I can say that cause he is MY son)  decided he didn't want to use the potty anymore.  And to show me how serious he was, he decided to piss all over the floor.  And when I mean all over....he got every square inch.  In the corners and under the bed (his bed is on wheels) And when I screamed (and I did) he didn't care.  He shrugged it off and went downstairs to get his snack!  Are you kidding me! Are you kidding! I threatened, I punished....not one tear. He stood strong and proud of what he had done. He was taking a stand like Cameron in the film "Ferris Beuller's Day off" and then I realized, I was defeated.

Where are we now at 3 years, 7 months, and 1 day today!?  He is in "quiet time" with the potty and a diaper taped tight. He has given up for now....and frankly so have I.  I have decided that I am going to let his sister train him.  She will figure it out by the age of 2 (she's that type of girl) and he will be 5. I'm done, I am passing the torch and I am officially surrendering. I wish you well Gavin as I wave my white flag. Hope they let you into school because you will NOT be living in my basement!

Coffee (an old post but deserving of a come back!)

When.....did this black muck that used to remind me of liquid tar become my favorite tasty treat!
When I brought to life a little boy named Gavin....THAT is the precise moment! I could never touch the stuff before....I always feared it would destroy my beautiful set of pearly whites that my parents spent so much $$ on! Damage my all natural body, (even though shots of tequilla were acceptable) Or the fear that I would one day be one of "those people" who couldn't start their day without it!
The day has come! I Am An ADDICT! This tasty treat is very understanding to your needs, its almost as if it loves you back......is it hot outside!? put it on ice! had a bad morning!?! slip some baileys in it....the kids will never notice! It is the perfect reason to get friends together......and its the best way to keep a girl regular! What more could I ask for!
So YES......I am officially announcing that I, Jami Nicole am an organic, fair trade, vanilla cafe latte with skim milk ADDICT! And damn proud of it!! I am now raising my mug of yummy goodness and toasting to what helps me wake up to the Fabulous woman that I need to be! Cheers!

To be a fly on my wall...

At this exact moment BOTH of my little adorable children are crying.  Not "I'm hurt", not "I'm hungry", not "Oops, I crapped my pants".  They are BOTH crying because they want to cry. Gav woke up in a HORRIBLE mood from a last minute nap on the couch (which is NEVER good, even though it IS cute!) This crying has been going on for 30mins...no joke.  But then Tilly must have gotten jealous that her brother was taking up too much air space and had to be heard.  I am just in such shock about the ridiculousness of the situation that I decided to blog.  I am sitting on the love seat while Gavin is on the sofa and Tilly is in her bouncy seat.  We are snug as bugs in the living room, watching some Dora, and they are STILL CRYING.  I sit here and ignore...I mean try to ignore.....Oh MY GOSH!!!!! I am about to lose my mind.  And I am sure some of you are asking, "where is that fabulous hubbie of yours!?" Well he decided that he would be a sweetie and run to the store for me.....yeah no!  He made out like a bandit.  I just texted him saying, "run for the hills...save your freedom while you still can..."

I am taking one for the team, that is for sure. By the way...still crying!!! Has anyone ever put their children to bed at 5:30!?!  Cause did I mention that they are STILL crying.... and now the dog is barking....PERFECT!  The hub is going to come home to find his wife in the bathroom closet with a bottle of wine......I got to make sure I don't forget my corkscrew.....gotta run!

Blech......

I am having a great day with my little nuggets.  They are being cute in every way possible.  Funny faces, funny jokes, and funny laughs!

Big brother STILL doesnt really care for little sis.  He is very protective of her in front of others....but behind closed doors...well you can say we know how he really feels.  She is like a new stuffed animal....it's there, but doesnt mean you have to cuddle with it!:)

Well here it goes....my afternoon.  Little girl needs a new outfit.  The one she had on looked as if she jumped into a lake it was so full of slober dober.  Plus, little miss is a very ticklish little one.  Even removing the onsie makes her laugh.  Mom (aka ME) decides to keep her laughing.  Starts to think..."Hey maybe big brother wants to help make sissy laugh too!?" Big brother comes over and now we are a family (who actually seem to like eachother) playing and laughing together!  Huge step for us!  The feeling makes this mom's heart skip a beat.......

Giggle, Choke, choke....BLECH!!!  Baby gets so excited she projectile BARFS in mommys face. (reminder: baby is now eating green beans and sweet potatoes) I look over at brother...who looks at me.  3 year old starts to gag. As he leaves the room in fear I realize that the special moment left with him.

This is my life....and surprisingly I think back to this afternoon and smile.  I just made a memory with my munchkins I dont think I could ever forget.  And knowing what I now know about life..... I wouldn't want it any other way.  I know a little boy who is 10 years old, who at this moment is fighting for his life.  I can't help to think about his loving mother and how she is probably playing over and over in her mind  these crazy chaotic moments that we moms tend to have.

So right now...... BARF IS GOOD!