Am I back!?!?!

It has been since February.....I will not apologize because this mama is TIRED! I have been doing the mom thing, preggo thing, making friends thing, making the hubbie happy thing AND just trying to be plain Fabulous! Ha!
I WILL be more regular about posting soon.....which I can fill you in on why later......but for now....a sample....

The third little Schmidty nugget is located directly on my poor innocent bladder. I have to go the the toilet (see I sound British) a GAGILLION times a day. Literally on a extra special day, I can go thru a whole roll of good old TP by myself, I mean seriously. So picture a Saturday morning, kids still have the sleepys in their eyes, the hubs is making one of his famous breakfasts, and then there is me......"Holy poo....mommy has to to go pee! I'll be right back" as I am sprinting up the some of the MANY stairs in this ridiculous house.......whew, I made it...which doesn't always happen. I wash up and head back to the fam.....Gavin looks up at me, "Mommy....you lied, you didn't go pee."
"Uh, okay Gav, I beg to differ...why do you say that?"
"BECAUSE....you don't have a PENIS!"
"Well kid you got me there" Which THEN starts the early morning conversation about the land of vaginas. The worst part is that I feel like the hubs was taking more notes then Gavin......

Love is in the air......

 I had told little man that Valentines day was coming up.  I tried to explain the fun things I had planned for him and his adorable little sis. We are making cards for daddy, special crafts and a "special romantic" dinner for the family.  I told him Valentines is basically a holiday that someone made up to make a lot of money...BUT its a good reminder to tell the people you love how you feel about them.  To that you could see his mind churning...but then..... I think he got it. Which he will soon prove.

About an hour or two later the studly 4 year old was playing in our toy kitchen set.  Daddy was making dinner and over heard a "phone conversation". By the way....the TOY phone..... The little Casanova was talking to a GIRL!!! Not nana...not mimi.....his GIRL FRIEND. The hub asks...."Who you talking too? " "Oh....my girl friend" "Well whats her name?" (A side note he doesn't know ANY names from school except Toby.....who is the boy we hate because he punched my baby in the face!) So little man replies, "Girl that wears the blue shirt and the big bow in her hair" WHAT!?!?! If you know my son that description means she actually exists.  When the hub told me this I smiled and then started to get the sweats....you KNOW I will be stalking some little girls on the playground today! I need to see my sons first crush! 4...I cant believe it.  Well anyhoo, the hub looked at the clock and realized that the stud had "talked" to girl in blue shirt with bow for 10mins! That's a record! It must be serious! HA!

So bottom line.....love exists, even where we don't expect it too...Happy Valentines Day!

The things we go thru....

Its 9:00 at night......on a Saturday..... and I am in bed....watching reruns of Sex and the City......alone.  Want to know why?!? Because I have the worst case of pregnancy gas humanly possible. I mean I cant even describe the horror that is reeking from my body.  The hubbie sent me to my room because he couldnt take the smell anymore.....Hell...I can't take the smell anymore. Lucky for him he gets to get away from it.  Me!?! Nope....I get to sit here and suffer. 
Does anyone warn you about this when you want to "bring a miracle into the world"...Nope.  And I believe now there is a reason....I also believe that when my sweet baby girl grows up and finds herself wanting children (hopefully already married to a successful plastic surgeon....I can dream cant I!?!?!)  I will remember this moment...and all the other grotesque, revolting and embarrassing things that come with this miracle....and well....I probably wont say anything because I will be so bitter that I had to go threw it......AND I want my grand babies.....Damn, I'm just like the rest of them.

Life of a Hermit.....

I know its been forever since my last blog freak out! A lot of nothing has been going on.  We haven't been traveling, we haven't gone anywhere exciting for dinner,  hell....Gavin hasn't even been going to school.  We have been a bunch of sickies and NOW we are finally coming back to the land of the living.  I haven't even seen my American neighbor who lives 3 doors down.  We have turned into hermits....our most excitement that we have had was going grocery shopping and heading down to the local cafe for a latte. Woo Hoo. Hold me back, I am getting to exciting....

So my life has been not what I had expected so far living in the romantic country side of England, but its going to get there.  I will make it happen. But right now I am too busy planning on what night will be family game night and which is movie night. Its rough, but I have to get organized! Ahhh! Are you listening to me! I need an intervention...someone PLEASE help me be a cool chick again! Until that happens....this is all I got!
 Gavin stories.......

Over in England (especially where we live) food choices are lacking.  I do a LOT of cooking here because your options are...English food...BLECH, well I DO love a Fish and chips....Indian, Italian (which is only open 5 nights a week), or Chinese.  So a lot of times we go to China.  In the states there is a dish called sweet and sour chicken. I NEVER let myself get this dish because I was afraid of the yummy and completely fattening concoction of shitty pieces of chicken fried in tons of yummy batter dipped in horribly sweet red jello-ish sauce. Delish! 
Well over here they have the same thing but first they call them chicken BALLS. Reason...it is actually a big ball of chicken breast with a light coating of batter, still fried to perfection and then the sauce is still that lovely shade of red....but this time you dont taste sugar, but vinegar.  I actually looked up the nutrition and this English version, of the American version of something they probably dont even EAT in China.  And it has less sugar then in the states, like 10 grams....and thats just the sauce.  So I'm not saying its healthy, but its healthier....which means this is my excuse now to eat the stuff! Ha!  So now my family gets chicken BALLS on a monthly basis and it makes me happy.....now after all my blah blah blah....the quote for the day.

Gavin, "Mommy, when I get done with my balls, that means I can get a treat!?" Now in my mind I am thinking dirtier then a mother probably should, I give him a smirk, say nothing and just look at the hubbie. Then Gavin quickly informs me....."MOMMY, not my DIRTY balls....I meant my CHICKEN balls"

Great.....and I am still speechless......lets hope that 2011 will give me more to write about then my 4 year olds balls......until the next time!

Exhausted.

  The hubbie and I haven't gotten each other a Christmas gift since 2005. I don't know if its a way to save money or just be practical. Maybe because when there is something that we really need or want we go out and get it. Well anyway...this year is different.  We are in a new country and we will be having a small, simple Christmas. We thought it would be fun....and since we have everything we NEED we decided that they would be "luxurious" gifts. Just one, but a nice one.  Well I was going to add a little something extra just because I want to keep my wife of the year trophy....didnt you hear!?! I have been nominated for Best Wife and Mother of 2010!! Its awesome! And its a lie.....let me tell you WHY I SHOULD deserve such an award........(let the rant begin)

  It starts off on a bad note....my hubs famous Grandma Vi passed away this past Friday after a long fight with Alzheimer's.  Kyle wanted to go home for the services and take the little guy.  I said, "Of coarse" and honestly after the baby was when we flew over to the UK I was happy to dodge THAT bullet.  So I agreed to stay home with her.  Well, a couple of days before his flight said little boy started to have a cough. I was NOT going to let him fly to another country with a cold. No WAY! So I made the decision, yes...I will take one for the team and watch both kids....dont worry about us. Just go. Damn, I should have thought a bit more about THAT one.....

  I guess I should also state another fact that only my pose knows......this chick is pregnant....AGAIN! I cant believe that just came from my fingertips....let the reality hit. Ok.....also I have been nauseous almost every day and cant eat a lot of foods and cant look at a lot of foods.  So making my yummy home cooked meals has been damn near impossible. So there is another back drop to my week....

 And now I am getting tired, so hear it is in a nut shell......
*First night- Baby girl stayed awake, Big brother coughed all night
*First full day- Baby girl screamed all day long, Big Brother snotted all over my sofa
*Second night- Baby Girl had a high temperature, more screaming, Big Brother more coughing and climbed in bed with me! (Dont get the Preggo SICK!)
*Second day-Same stuff as above but add a popcorn kernel lodged up Big Brothers nose
*Third night-not bad...more sleep then before except the time I had to get up to watch Big Brother take a poo, guess he was lonely.
*Third day- (my favorite) sick baby girl....but add a full on choke that resulted in the Heimlich and a mom covered in barf....even in my freshly washed hair.
*Third night-even more sleep (starting to become a human again)
*Fourth day-During afternoon nap, baby decides to start screaming for no reason that I know of and wakes me and brother from our naps...which turns into brother throwing a tantrum so bad you would think some one was ripping off his limbs and beating him with them. Which then brought the devil out in yours truly and I am extremely surprised the police werent called.
Fourth night- kids almost perfect...but the hub calls....his flight has been CANCELED!!!!

So....back to my Christmas gift....you know...the luxurious one!?! I would LOVE to see what he comes up with....He could win Husband of the year to go with my Wife of the year!?!?!? OR this week could go unnoticed (like I would let THAT happen) and I could be like every other wife and mother that busts her ass and doesnt get any credit....well until your kids grow up and have kids...then they realize!

By the way....Thank you mom!! Love you! And for me.....its time for a nap!:)

No Biggie....

This is not life changing information...not like I EVER have life changing information...but, here in England when you go to the movie theater.  You walk in just like the states and buy your ticket. Then you smell the warm yumminess of the concession stand.  You walk over and if you are like me I MUST get a fatty buttery popcorn and a cherry pop. (and yes I said Pop, I'm from the mid west) You ask the sweet little teenie bopper behind the counter and she replies, "sweet or salt!?" To which I reply, "Beg your pardon...what are you referring too?" "The popcorn" Yup folks....no butter.  You can have your popcorn with either sugar on top or salt.  I chose salt, which was lovely, but NOT the same.  And as for my soda, pop, whatever.  They only have the basics....no Cherry Pepsi, no Mountain Dew....just Coke, Diet Coke, Fanta and 7 Up....which I went with the 7 Up..I mean come on, who still drinks that in the states!?!? Let me tell you, it deserves a come back! Yum! So there you go...more useless knowledge that I thought I would share! "discuss, discuss"

Well.....

Things are changing.....obviously I moved to another country. Everything is new and different....normally I would say that makes everything BETTER. And actually I DO mean that.  I am just in the mood to complain about the things that bug me...I have the right to do that. Lets not forget I AM an AMERCIAN!!! I feel like singing that song, "I'm proud to be an american...where at least I know I'm free..."
Anyhoo.....
Life here is very similar to the states, just a tad bit harder, more annoying if you will.  I've told you about the washer and "tumble" dryer....did you know that my dishwasher will also need special attention when the time comes.  I have to pour salt in it!?!? WHAT! Its a brand spank'n new modern machine. YUP! Oh...and I forgot to mention that my washer grows mold....I found that out the other day.  About once a month I have to pour this Tilex stuff into the washer and scrub it out. YUCK. So the machine I use to CLEAN things is growing mold and probably putting that mold somewhere on my childrens clothes. THEN lets talk construction.  Over here in England they had a real estate boom like we did. So new pretty homes went up, not as crazy as in the states...but you get my point.  My home is not even 2 years old.  It is beautiful, nice details, stone work, very fashionabley put together.  It has CRACKS! Big ones...it has "puckers" as they call it.  It looks like my ceiling has a slight case of acne.  The boards under my bed need to be renailed down. I may fall thru the floor one day.  The grout around all the tubs has lifted, I can see into the next room (ok, thats a lie, but are you feling me yet!?)...WHAT THE F ! In the states if you are paying what we are paying you would have all of that fixed before you would let someone even look at the place...I guess this stuff isnt important to them.  Let me tell you there are more things...ummm. Like the delivery man.  If you have something delivered to your house by the mail...you HAVE to sign for it.  If you dont or your neighbor wont!?! Kiss it goodbye.  They wont leave it by the door.  They HAVE to hand it to someone...I have no idea where it goes. Probably an office where you would have to pick it up, but seriously!?!? I miss a UPS man where they throw it on your porch as they are turning around walking back to that big brown truck!
Ok...I am feeling better. Basically its annoying. BUT then you have to respect a country where they dont sweat the small stuff.  If your dryer goes out...it doesnt bother them to not have it for 3 weeks. They think outside the box and get it done.  Not sit on the floor in front of it throwing a tantrum because I am over it....(maybe that is where Tilly is getting her tude!) So...moral of the story.  As Americans we are very lucky for a lot of things....even the silly, minuet, speckles of life. So go and thank your Maytag man....your 24 hour Wal-Mart.....and your "pimple free" ceilings!

A tribute to a Fabulous mimi!

As Gavin gets ready to turn 4 years old on the 22nd.  I look at what we have accomplished with him. And for everyone that knows us...the big deal is potty training.  Since we have crossed the big ocean we have had not one...even tiny and insignificant accident. And to celebrate I will tell you a story....a story of a little boy, his love for a shed, and the Fabulousness of Mimi!

The setting.  My parents farm in late August.  The little guy LOVES to go out and check on the machinery like its a pet.  Everyday he begged one of us to take him out there.  This day it was Mimi....

I had told her earlier that afternoon that someone hadn't used the bathroom in a while.  And when its time for a #2...watch out.  So before they head outside she makes him sit on the beloved potty for a while.  He sits, he pees....life is good. (I'm sure you are thinking, I know where shes going with this....ummmm. No you dont!) Mimi as always decides to multitask as she takes him out on his adventure.  Odd things like bringing old corn cobs out to throw in the field...stuff like that.  They head for the field and Gav starts dancing. Mimi, "Gav, do you have to go to the potty!?"  Gav, "Umm. No I just went.  But what if I have to poop!?" Mimi, "Well if that happens I guess you could poop outside!?" Gav, "I dont have to go..."  they proceed to the big shed to check out those tractors. Gav, "Mimi!?! What do I do if I have to poop?!" Mimi, "Gavin if you have to poop then lets go to the house....otherwise you are going to have to poop in this bucket!" (The bucket that had the corn cobs)
Gav, "No.  I cant poop in the bucket! I dont have to poop!" 
Wait for it.....wait for it.....Mimi said it was about 30seconds when...."MIMIIIIIIIII.......I HAVE TO POOP IN THAT BUCKET!!!!!!" So Mimi helped her grandson poop in a tiny little bucket in the middle of a huge shed.  Poor kid was so embarrassed he wouldn't even talk about it.  His only worry, "is papa going to be mad I pooped in his shed?!" Honestly I would have expected my little neat freak to be worried about the lack of toilet paper.  But then I realized, Mimi used a ratted up Kleenex to wipe.  Even as a child she would always have like 5 in her purse or pocket!  I guess those nasty things have saved the day more then once! 

So not much else needs to be said but....CHEERS to Mimi! Cause I guarantee I would have just let him crap his pants!

Give me a break.....

It has come to my attention recently that I am not keeping up with blogging demands. Here is the deal.  I had no idea that people (besides a select few) actually read this crap.  I had no idea that I had been missed.  Well this is what I have to say 1. I am truly sorry 2. Give me a freak'n break! I moved to another country for Christs sake and I'm trying to get adjusted to the chaos that has been thrown my way.  Geezey Petes!

And now....cross your fingers....back to the Blog!:)

The damn laundry...

Something that every desperate housewife hates is laundry.  I can say that because I think I am one of the few that liked doing.....notice the LIKED......in the states we have our fabulous energy star washer and dryers.  They come in all shapes and sizes....you can get one to match you favorite pair of red shoes or your Kitchen Aid mixer.  They have so many setting to choose from you feel like your at a candy store. They can do it all but bake a cake! Who wouldn't have fun...right!?!

Ok.  Now... I know that I have only had experience with one washer and dryer here in the great UK.  But my home here is only 2 years old and all of the appliances are nice and new, so I figure these sub par versions on the American classic are probably their standard.

Now here is my problem....and your British lesson for the day!  They are SMALL.  I'm talking when you throw in a load of whites (for me its my smallest and lightest load) your done.  The contraption is FULL. End of that story....what else can you do.  THEN if you do not pay attention, you will place the setting on "normal wash" or "eco 40" whatever that hell that means. I am not joking once you hit start with said Eco 40 it will take 2 hours and 30mins to WASH! Seriously, the hubbie ran out to another town to run 3 errands and when he walked in the door it had finally starting rinsing! I have learned to use the "mini" setting.  Does this mean that my clothes are not getting as clean!? Who knows! probably! And honestly I dont give a rats ass.  If we spent 150mins a load and we had 4 loads (which is normal).... well you do the math.  I'm too tired from doing laundry!

So basically my day consists of doing a load of laundry everyday so that I never have to pile up and be stuck on a saturday with 8 hours of wash going.  Oh....but wait! I haven't finished.  The DRYER. DmmmDmmmmDmmmmmm.....These dryer are water condensing.  Which means.  It is not hooked up to a pipe line.  Which means...when the dryer is taking out the water from the clothes it doesnt have a pipe to take it to a drain like in the states.  There is a thing called "the condenser" that is in the bottom of the dryer.  This Condenser is a tank with a cap that sits under the drum behind a nice little door.  During the drying the tank gets full. THEN the dryer sings you a song that means go and empty this shit! So you cant just throw stuff in the dryer and go.  Because in between every load it has to be emptied and it wont start up again until you do so. 

Are you starting to under the complexity it takes to live in the UK. Seriously....I wont even go into the phone service.....next time.  Because right now I have to spend my favorite nap time catching up on more LAUNDRY!

I'm BACK......

   and in England!  As I sit to write I check out my surroundings. Alconbury Air Force Base in the temporary housing quarters.  Do you remember those children books about Eloise, I think she lived at the Plaza or something.  Well this chick is living in the equivalent of a Best Western UK style. Its so "fabulous" that when  I tried to upload photos for you to see what I mean the wireless was annoyingly spotty.  The cable has 10 channels..all but 2 are AirForceNetwork which can NOT hold a signal.  The others are British  and not too bad.  At the moment I am snuggled up watching...wait for it...."Law and Order/ UK" Ha!  Its is NOT the same as our American classic, but MAYBE I could get used to it! maybe not.... So now I am going to jot down nonsense that needs to be shared...it has absolutely no point in life just fun "useless knowledge"
Here we go.....did you know?!?!

~Toilet flushers are buttons on the top of the toilet (shall we say the Lou), not a handle on the left side.
~All appliances have a power switch on the wall.  To turn on the oven I have to turn on the wall switch and then turn the oven to the correct temperature.  Same with the dishwasher, toaster, coffee pot.
~Hell... Law and Order/UK :) Strange in itself and missing Mariska!
~The fact that everyone sounds like they are a genius from Oxford....the voice on the man making my Subway sandwich made me believe he could be the next prime minister. "would you like cheese miss?"

~They have playgrounds in the pubs! I mean WHAT!?! Maybe we will never leave!
~If you go to good ole McDonald's (we have a 3year old. Give me a break!) order a Happy Meal and ask for a juice box..Apple!? Fruit Punch!? No...Blackberry Currant. Excuse me? We are Americans, we don't drink no currants...:)
~Another toilet one.  In the words of Gavin, "Man...that hole is WAY BIG!" No clogging that sucker

  As I finish my first week in the United Kingdom...not too bad.  When its not raining (which is rare) it is one of the most beautiful places to be....and when I get out of my fabulous 5 star accommodations I will do my best to post some pictures.  Until then...Cheers!

A new day...

  Its time.....time to announce that after a year of complaints, tears, lost voices and empty bottles of carpet cleaner.....Gavin Louis....my stud muffin of a little nugget is POTTY TRAINED.  Its an ending of an era...a book has closed.  We now have a little boy on our hands.  I can no longer say that I have two in diapers (and thank God for that!)

  Since Gavin is my first, I now sit and wonder what the next "challenge" of parenthood will be.  Will I be ready or will I have to go back to the bottle!?!  All in good time I guess.....

  So now I will be thankful that during this stressful time in my life (the move across the pond)  it will be full of m &m giving, sticker charts, and cute little Buzz Light Year tighty whiteys that make me SMILE.  Life is good!
  

Eat your veggies!

As a stay at home mom...or better yet, a domestic goddess (and yes I DO put that down when I fill out paper work) your life isn't so glamorous.  So when it does come time for fun glamorous things...like weddings, hubbies work events, or hell even a backyard bbq......I have to go all out!  Its like I am making up for the other 6 days of the week where I have no makeup on and I am still wearing my sundress from 3 days prior.

So with this big move I have learned that "summer" in the great UK is "fallish".   It tops off at a high 70 degrees and thats the hottest point.  So NOW I am trying to get all of us new fall clothes and nix the summer stuff...which means I am NOT ALLOWED (hub said that...can you believe I am actually listening) to get a new summer dress for an upcoming wedding this weekend.  The test of a REAL domestic goddess.....WHAT TO WEAR!

So I spent my morning going thru my closet.  Trying things on, mix and matching shoes, scarves, jewelry.  Exhausting. Of coarse I can't do any of this without my little stylist Gav.  He plays the perfect role of "the honest friend" He doesnt know fashion, but he notices when you have back fat.  So I narrow down to my #1 choice, it will do..... and then in the back of my closet.... I saw it...the dress I wore when the hub and I got engaged 6 years ago.  Its black, halter, flattering, and also a size 8.  I KNEW it wasnt going to fit, but I thought lets see if I can magically make a 12 turn into a single digit!

"Oh....Mommy.  You are growing big and strong!  You are too BIG for that dress! You are eating your vegetables and drinking your milk!"

At least my son is proud that his mom could be a line backer....And for the glamorous housewife.....there is always my LASHES!

Quickie

Gav comes to find me in the office..... quite direct (and loud) he states "HEY...you need to make MY LUNCH!.....NOW!"  I say, "Hey... wanna say that again so I can spank you!?" Gav reply's, "Umm...no thank you." as he quickly turns and walks away.

1 point for mommy against the terrible 3's!

Slacker.....

Lately I have been SOOO busy.  I have had more then enough to blog about, but I can't grace you with my stories until I start at the beginning. 

In the month of August this housewife is changing scenery.  I am packing up our belongings and our lives, and the little nuggets and I are following the hub to ENGLAND.  Now I'm pretty sure that everyone reading this is like, "Duh jami...you told us this already"  But I was hoping maybe, just maybe that someone other then my mother and best friends read this blog! Ha! But who am I kidding!

We will be in the UK for at least 3 years, 5 years max.  Basically this is an awesome thing for the hubbie and his career.  But its also a perfect way for us to feel free....ever since this first little Schmidty showed up (SURPRISE) I never felt like we had "closure" to our youth.   We were forced to grow up as much as we could at the time. And YES I do still think of myself as a 17 year old with a family.  Anyhoo, having this last adventure before truly settling down, popping out a few more kids, dealing with PTA,  field trips and living in picture perfect suburbia....this is greatly needed.  This is going to be a fabulous ending to another chapter in my life.  The chapter where I figure out where my life is actually headed.  I know I'm being a bit more "deep" then usual but this is exactly what the hub and I need to do.  Explore the world.....be spontaneous.....find more passion in life. My 20's will be over soon and I want them to go out with a bang....and they will!  And I hope you will follow me as I make my mark on the world! Ha!  Here we go!

A little poop never hurt anybody.....

  Here is our status....
There are no more diapers for 3 year olds. There are no more baby sized diapers for 3 year olds. There are MANY pull ups for 3 year olds, and when those run out....big boy pants here we come.  He has agreed to make the "big switch" once we are out of our security blankets...aka Toy Story Pull ups.

Another thing that is kinda hilarious to me, is that Mr. Gav has been training himself. And doing quite well actually.  As you may know, I gave up, threw in the towel, waved the white flag.  Basically my plan of attack is being supportive, acting like I don't care either way if he shits himself or not....BUT I have made the rule. "you do it, you clean it up!" So this way when he goes in the potty and sees how easy the "clean up" is hopefully he will get frustrated with the extra steps when he has the dreaded accident.

So, here is the yet another story.  Fathers day.  Its hot as hell outside. Trying to have quality family time we decided to go to Wal mart and buy inflatables....pools, slip-n-slides, and pool toys...maybe a beer or two. So as we all sit in the various inflatables of fun, looking rather trailer trash I might add, Gav starts acting funny.  Now realize he is wearing his swim trunks with nothing underneath.  I say, "do you have to go potty"  "NOOOOO!!!" followed by the funniest potty dance I have seen in a while. "do you have to poop!?" "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Of coarse his father on Fathers day wanted nothing to do with the situation.  I mean seriously, I spoil you all day and you cant help with THIS.  Should we recap on MY mothers day! Anyhoo, I'm getting off track.  So I take Gav and help him pull off his pants and tell him he can pee in the grass.  He says in an urgent manner, "Nooooo!!!  Poop is COMING!!!" So with his wet swim trunks at his ankles I grab him the most awkward way to keep the poop from falling out and run his little white behind into the house.  Then the norm, we sit, poops a little (sorry TMI) wash hands, flush and back out the door.
  Ahh...back in the pool, my beer is in my hand, soft breeze, not too bad for being in a foot of water in a kiddie pool.  "what is THAT!!!"  Our relaxed daddy found his karma.......I guess Gav didn't hold it as well as we thought. The kid had made a little "follow the yellow brick road" shit path! And guess who had to clean it up!  Not me!  Happy Fathers Day! (I told him it would be easier to just get the dogs pooper scooper!)

Really!?!

When I was a kid, and even now, I hear adults talking about missing, "that sweet baby smell".  The idea of that phrase makes sense to me.  The reality of that phrase is SOO untrue.  My baby Tilly smells of lavender and soap for 3 hours every OTHER day because she has had a bath.  For some reason the other 45hours in between cleanings she smells of a dirty washcloth....the weirdest part.... I always use a paper towel!?!? So whoever came up with this beloved phrase either 1.wanted kids and could never have any and is imagining that it is complete heaven (someone should fill them in) or 2. is a grandparent who gets to see their grandchildren on bath day! Lucky them.

I guess I shouldn't speak for EVERYONE, even though I like too. Maybe I'm just raising that "smelly girl in class" Sorry Til, but girl you STINK!

Cheers to me!

Today I got up early and went to the grocery store.  It was quiet, peaceful even.  There is something about going to the store and filling your cart with yummy, nutritious items. Sadly it always gives me a ginormous bill at the end....but it helps make my family happy and healthy! Ahhh....aren't I a sweet little thing!

SO...I get home and I unload the goodies that I had purchased.  I take the Gav man upstairs to get changed for the day, but lets be honest, it was more like putting him into a new pair of pj's.  We have no place to go!  Why the hell not!?!

 As he is sitting on his little potty squeezing a single drop of pee and begging to be done....I realized I didn't pick up any pull ups. CRAP! So I took this as a moment.  A moment to prove that I have NOT given up, I just took a break!  I WILL get this kid potty trained...I started to feel a wave of excitement, motivation if you will!  THIS WILL HAPPEN!  I have heard from many mothers that when faced with the "Oh NO!?!  We are out of diapers!  I guess we will just have to use the big kid pants!"  Most kids rise to the challenge.  So I say the same exact thing......what happened!?

My 3 and a half year old son is wearing his sisters 6month old pretty purple diaper!  I am so proud! I decided I will toast to the ridiculousness by spiking my coffee! CHEERS!

Yummy Time!

So my babysitter told me of this FABULOUS recipe!  Its just one healthy ingredient and it makes ICE CREAM!  Its so easy I'm not even going to write anything.....just follow the pictures that the hubbie thought I was ridiculous for taking! And then ENJOY!!!

So when your little munchkins need a little bribing!  Say..."Do you want some ice cream!?" And BAM!

Serving of fruit and you are SUPER MOM!

Can't forget about this one....

Yes....I know it has been forever and a day since I have blogged. A lot...and I mean a LOT has been happening in my life.  I WILL fill you in, but first I have to tell you a little story.  I could have skipped out on this story, but it does add a nice touch to the chapter I am calling "the devil wears pull ups!"

Lets begin.....
My little man, who is now officially 3 years, 7 months and 1 day old today.  Is now having "quiet time" in his room.   Now with potty training you might say that could be risky.  Leaving a child alone in his or her room for 3 hours.  What do you do!?  Well, I will tell you.  I have a little mini potty sitting in the room.  Next to that said potty I have reading materials, small toys, and even a coloring book with markers.  Its the throne of thrones.  Now how many kids have their own private bathroom...IN their room.  My little guy does.  And lets just say it WORKS!  Everyday THIS magic time is the ONLY time I can get him to sit on the potty and actually go.  Now for the longest time it was only a pee potty.....but recently it became a POO potty.  The hubbie and I were so excited. We took pictures, danced like rock stars, and rewarded with Gavin's favorite dinner.  But then....

First off, have I ever mentioned I had a rebellious streak.  Anyhooo.....the hubbie and I went full force with the potty training.  Only underwear or none at all.  We were on  a mission.  A mission to make things happen, turn a boy into a man...well, maybe turn a baby into a boy. And things were going great!

And then it happened.  We call this accident the "incident". Because there is NO WAY this was an accident.

 After days of having great success I went upstairs to get Gavin up from "quiet time".  I was feeling sluggish because we had been super busy around here and I had no help from the hubbie.  Either he was out of town or finals....whatever.  Baby's daddy was no where in sight!  I open the door and go straight for the potty sitting in the corner.  Ready to give praise to my angel of a son. But to my surprise the potty....it was empty.  Not one drop of pee,  no piddle, no #1. You could have seen your reflection the bowl was sparkling white.  As I am admiring my new hair color I realize.  Hmmm.....why are my feet sticking to the floor? Oh...poor guy he must have an a little accident on the floor.  He made a puddle. Wait for it.....wait for it...............it was no little puddle. The little shit ( I can say that cause he is MY son)  decided he didn't want to use the potty anymore.  And to show me how serious he was, he decided to piss all over the floor.  And when I mean all over....he got every square inch.  In the corners and under the bed (his bed is on wheels) And when I screamed (and I did) he didn't care.  He shrugged it off and went downstairs to get his snack!  Are you kidding me! Are you kidding! I threatened, I punished....not one tear. He stood strong and proud of what he had done. He was taking a stand like Cameron in the film "Ferris Beuller's Day off" and then I realized, I was defeated.

Where are we now at 3 years, 7 months, and 1 day today!?  He is in "quiet time" with the potty and a diaper taped tight. He has given up for now....and frankly so have I.  I have decided that I am going to let his sister train him.  She will figure it out by the age of 2 (she's that type of girl) and he will be 5. I'm done, I am passing the torch and I am officially surrendering. I wish you well Gavin as I wave my white flag. Hope they let you into school because you will NOT be living in my basement!